I first saw them as they came to take me home. The look on their faces when they saw me was an amazing sight to see. I said my farewells to my pound pals and then went to the door of the widespread building. My new owners took my collar and led me to a smart shiny Porsche. I felt a little sad leaving my pals, but I couldn’t help feeling happy. I was about to become part of a proper family. A family where I wouldn’t be mistreated at all. I couldn’t help but be happy.
I clambered onto the back seat next to a little girl. She smiled at me and heaved me onto her knobbly knees. I licked her face and leapt up and down, but after a while I was told to calm down. They opened the window so I could get some fresh air. I did. I hung my head out of the window, and a stern voice said “come in boy”. I went back in because I didn’t want to go to the pound.
I clambered out of the back door, and ran yapping wildly down the path. My new owner called to a woman who had sat in the passenger seat.
“Karen, grab Laura and lock up the car would you? The keys are on the dashboard.”
He led me with a strong hand to the door. I was still yapping excitedly as I was led through the front room. I ran about insanely throughout the house nearly knocking over all the ornaments. That’s when he got a little angry.
“Down boy! Get down! Calm it. Cool it!”
I couldn’t even calm down. The excitement was ludicrous! I was in a family and I wanted to make it stay that way. I pulled towards the stairs.
“No way boy, no way are you going up them stairs!”
I whined pitifully but to no avail. He’s said no, and he meant no. I would just have to explore tonight when the humans had gone to that thing called a “bed”. But boy, wouldn’t I have a shock!
The owner who’s name was Jason I’d learned, led me into a cold damp porch.
“What the heck’s going on?” I wailed. “You can’t leave me here, you can’t just abandon me, disown me! Please I’d do anything, just let me in! No don’t leave me out here!”
The door slammed and I heard the key turn in a freshly oiled lock. I howled, I wailed, I scratched, I whined. But the man just ignored me. So I took it upon myself to open the door. I pushed the sheet of newspaper out of my loo tray underneath the door, then I pushed my enormous nail through and head the key fall. Then I pulled the paper back out. Then I opened the door.
If the man was awake he would have totally spazzed out, big style. But he probably wasn’t awake. I leapt through the house and bounded up the stairs onto the landing. The humans freaked out when I burst in howling happily!
“You little…!” He trailed off. “How did you get in little fella?”
I think he sensed something was wrong.
“Through the door you fat ape!” I barked back.
“Are you trying to tell me something?”
“Yes, are you deaf? I hate coming out into that claustrophobic, cold stupid porch!”
Jason clambered out of the bed. “You’re going back to the porch…”
“I don’t think so, you thicko!”
“Get back here now!”
I darted through his legs and bounded round the room. “Come on! Play with me!” I laughed.
“To bed!” he screamed, and smacked me on my nose.
I whined, then took a chunk out of his left thigh.
“Ow!” he screamed.
“What’s the matter? You started it!” I growled gritting my teeth.
“That’s it pal, you’re going to be put down!”
Put down where? I hope it’s somewhere nice like Las Vegas or Hollywood. Then I could meet my favourite movie stars! Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Pamela Lee and Demi Moore! Oh yeah, and you can’t forget John Travolta, Harrison Ford, Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson!
“You’re going to the pound!”
“No! Not the pound! Anywhere but the pound! Please!”
He picked up a cloth off the bed and began putting pressure on the wound. “Naughty dog!”
I ran off and hid in the airing cupboard.
When I awoke, a doctor was leaning over me. “You’re going to sleep for a very long time!”
I felt the needle inject, and I felt very sleepy…
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