Monthly Musings: April 2017

An overview of opinions and observations for the month.

Whisper: April 2017

01/04/2017 @11:20
Single Mums like "I don't need a man's help to raise my child! 👊"
...whilst claiming benefits that working men's wages help fund.

01/04/2017 @11:38
What about them? They are irrelevant to my Whisper.

01/04/2017 @11:39
Then I am pretty sure this Whisper doesn't apply to them, so your reply isn't relevant to the point I was making.

01/04/2017 @11:42
Truth hurts when you're in denial 😂

01/04/2017 @11:50
So by extension they need the man.

01/04/2017 @11:53
Nope, it really doesn't. And it isn't sexist, it's observational honesty.

01/04/2017 @11:54
Nope. Child benefits are not paid out of a separate fund only contributed to by women.

01/04/2017 @11:56
Yes, and until they do, they need men to keep working hard to help fill the benefit pot they claim from.

01/04/2017 @11:59
That is why my Whisper says "help to fund" not "solely fund". You inability to read properly before spitting out your tampon annoys me.

01/04/2017 @12:00
That is why my Whisper says "help to fund" not "solely fund". Your inability to read properly before ranting annoys me.

01/04/2017 @12:02
Well yes, they are irrelevant since my Whisper is about single Mum's saying they don't need men's help.

01/04/2017 @12:07
You need me to show you the proof that men's wages also contribute to benefits payments? 🤔

01/04/2017 @12:09
No, I made a bold statement about single Mum's saying they don't need a man's help, yet happily accepting financial support contributed to by them. Not my fault you misinterpreted it.

01/04/2017 @12:11
Your inability to process basic English is astonishing.

01/04/2017 @12:15
Yes, however mentioning women isn't relevant to my point since single Mum's don't post about not needing "a man or woman's help to raise their child". It's always about not needing a "man".

01/04/2017 @12:18
Nope, single Father ironically who isn't entitled to any financial support and sick of seeing Father's get berated by single Mum's who can claim benefits that I contribute to.

01/04/2017 @12:22
I never see these jobless lazy men posting "I don't need any help from women 👊" so feel free to post examples to make your reply relevant.

01/04/2017 @12:27
I raise my child by myself & aren't entitled to benefits. I feel fully justified to be annoyed by Mum's berating Fathers indiscriminately whilst claiming benefits that I contribute too.

01/04/2017 @12:35
I find it exhausting living in a world where feminism has taught women to empower themselves by dismissing, humiliating and belittling men at every opportunity.

01/04/2017 @12:37
I agree it would be a sexist generalisation to say that - which is why I haven't said that. Also, no. A large amount of women force men out against their will and choose to be a single parent.

01/04/2017 @12:39
Nope, nothing sexist about stating facts. The uneducated ones are those who read my Whisper and completely misinterpret what was said.

01/04/2017 @12:40
You are indeed obvious.

01/04/2017 @12:40
Which outrageous claim?

01/04/2017 @12:46
Obvious troll is obvious.

01/04/2017 @12:53
I have personally been subjected to it, it cost me £3k to take my ex court for access. As a result I am constantly asked for advice about how to proceed when you're pushed out your own child's life.

01/04/2017 @13:00
Nevertheless my taxes contribute to her be income. If she doesn't need any man's help, can I stop contributing to her benefits? I don't work hard to have % of my wages given to women who insult.

01/04/2017 @13:06
Cool story.

01/04/2017 @13:11
Nope, not abandonment. My ex simply refused to let me see my child because she wanted to prove to her friends "she didn't need a man" despite my eagerness to be involved.

01/04/2017 @13:14
I agree all single Mothers aren't bad, and have not said anywhere that they are. I know a lot of single Mum's who are great. But there are also a lot of terrible single Mothers too.

01/04/2017 @13:17
Totally agree. My original post was directed at single Mum's who feel the need to discredit all Dad's simply because they regret who they chose to parent with.

01/04/2017 @13:20
I thought the quote I included in the original post would make it clear who it was aimed at...

01/04/2017 @13:25
No worries, perhaps it wasn't worded as intended. If you see the other comments, you aren't alone 😂

01/04/2017 @13:27
As a single parent, I move in a lot of circles with other single parents (school, classes etc). Perhaps it is a reflection on my area in the UK.

01/04/2017 @13:30
Reread my Whisper (about women saying they don't need men's help) and you will understand why women's contributions are irrelevant to the point of the post.

01/04/2017 @13:31
N'aww 'babycakes', I feel all cute and adorable now! ❤️

01/04/2017 @13:33
I'm tired of explaining this, read my on other posts.

01/04/2017 @13:43
Finally someone who can read!! 😂👌

01/04/2017 @13:46
I know what it means. It means "everyone look at my social signalling and tell me how awesome I am because I chose to have a kid with a shit Dad" 😂

01/04/2017 @13:48
I can't even have a general conversation 90% of the time without it devolving into a female trying to assert dominance by deriding men.

01/04/2017 @13:50
*Government assistance that is partially funded by men's taxes.
The same men they generalise and berate.

01/04/2017 @13:55
Well in my experience the subsequent conversation evolves into man bashing by all females involved about how they are better off without men because 'xyz'.

01/04/2017 @13:57
If the shoe fits, wear it. Otherwise stop implying I am tarring you with any brush. My comments refer to a subset of single Mum's, if you aren't part of that subset, stop taking offence.

01/04/2017 @13:59
I never said they don't.

01/04/2017 @14:00
Please stop posting that you "don't need a man's help to raise your child" on social media.

01/04/2017 @14:01
And you are unnecessarily angry.

01/04/2017 @14:03
Nope, I did not imply that. Reread the Whisper before getting offended.

01/04/2017 @14:04
Please stop posting that you "don't need a man's help to raise your child" on social media.

01/04/2017 @14:12
Please stop posting that you "don't need a man's help to raise your child" on social media.

01/04/2017 @14:17
Please stop posting that you "don't need a man's help to raise your child" on social media.

01/04/2017 @14:23
Then the post isn't about you, so your input is irrelevant.

01/04/2017 @14:23
Please stop posting that you "don't need a man's help to raise your child" on social media.

01/04/2017 @14:26
I'd rather be a retard than be you. Luckily I am neither.

01/04/2017 @14:28
It always amuses me when people try to get personal about stranger's lives that they know nothing about. 😂

01/04/2017 @14:29
So this post is not relative to you and your input is irrelevant.

01/04/2017 @14:31
Lol, no. My post was aimed at people I know who it definitely applies too. You chose to comment when it doesn't apply to you.

01/04/2017 @14:31
Cool story. Have fun.

01/04/2017 @14:32
Please stop posting that you "don't need a man's help to raise your child" on social media.

01/04/2017 @14:33
Nope, a single Dad.

01/04/2017 @14:34
Nope, I know the people it was aimed at irl. No assuming.

01/04/2017 @14:35
Please stop posting on social media that you "don't need men's help" to raise your child.

01/04/2017 @14:37
And just so you know, I never said they did. Reread the original Whisper.

01/04/2017 @14:38
Nope, it was aimed at women who post about not needing a man, whilst claiming benefits...
Like the original Whisper said.

01/04/2017 @14:40
Well if you don't post that, the Whisper wasn't aimed at you so your input isn't relevant.

01/04/2017 @14:40
Please stop posting on social media that you "don't need men's help" to raise your child.

01/04/2017 @14:41
I know, I do it well.

01/04/2017 @14:42
Lol, so the post isn't relevant to you.

01/04/2017 @14:46
Apologies if that was really blunt, I am tired of replying about it to people who have taken offence when it doesn't apply to them, and are just seeking an argument.

01/04/2017 @14:48
I aren't. I am fatigued of seeing women berating men on social media whilst claiming benefits I pay towards. Especially when I am a single Dad myself and not entitled to any benefits.

01/04/2017 @14:52
I fight to make ends meet for my child despite working full time, to then see women generalising and bashing all men over social media. It's hard to not get frustrated.

01/04/2017 @14:52
I applaud her 👌

01/04/2017 @14:57
1

01/04/2017 @14:58
Never said it was 'just men'...

01/04/2017 @14:59
Because the post is about women saying they don't need 'men'. Therefore the subject of the post is 'men's' contribution. Not women's.

01/04/2017 @15:01
Indeed, I feel constantly at war with most females because everything descends into an argument over gender dominance.

01/04/2017 @15:01
👌 Have a nice day.

01/04/2017 @15:02
Nope. It says "help fund" not "solely fund".

01/04/2017 @15:08
Yes! You are a rare breed these days, it's nice to converse with someone compassionate and not just eager to argue for the sake of arguing! ❤️

01/04/2017 @15:09
Nope, I would like women to stop generalising and bashing men simply because they can't get along with the father of their child.

01/04/2017 @15:10
Then the post wasn't aimed at you. ✌️

01/04/2017 @15:16
My Whisper was intended to imply my frustration at women who bash men by going on about "not needing men" whilst claiming benefits I pay towards.

01/04/2017 @15:17
Please tell your friends to stop going on about "not needing men" on social media.

01/04/2017 @15:18
Sorry but last time I checked my Whisper never said they don't, douchebag.

01/04/2017 @15:21
Lol, jokes on you, because she does. We have an awesome co-parenting arrangement because we realise the importance of both parents in our child's life.

01/04/2017 @15:25
My point is that 'some' single Mum's bash 'all' men because their baby daddy is a waste but are happy to take money from other men in the form of benefits.

01/04/2017 @15:31
*and bash all men

01/04/2017 @15:37
Hey twatmonkey, I never said it wasn't from all working people's wages.

01/04/2017 @15:37
Well aren't you the cryptic cunt.

01/04/2017 @15:38
What a twatmonkey you are! 😂

01/04/2017 @15:40
Nope, just bashing all the Mothers who bash all men.

01/04/2017 @15:44
Congrats for being in the minority. I trust they will have no male teachers during their entire education, or ever get taught any skills by men?

01/04/2017 @15:45
Just tired of being bashed by single Mum's who had kids with idiots.

01/04/2017 @15:47
It's the comments that follow full of generalising hate and contempt.

01/04/2017 @15:47
Yep, just it never said that.

01/04/2017 @15:47
Yep, never said otherwise.

01/04/2017 @15:49
I'm saying there is a contradiction in single Mum's bashing men and saying they don't need them, when we contribute to the benefits they claim via taxes.

01/04/2017 @15:49
Good on you 👌

01/04/2017 @15:51
Nope, that's child tax credits and child benefit in the UK.

01/04/2017 @15:52
Then this comment does not refer to her. It refers to women who bash all men yet take benefits that men contribute too.

01/04/2017 @15:54
Naturally a Whisper doesn't have space to over elaborate with examples; a lot of these statuses descend into bitter hate fuelled "fuck men" rants.

01/04/2017 @15:55
I am glad she is a strong positive role model. I am simply fatigued with seeing the influence and importance of a Father being dismissed.

01/04/2017 @15:57
The subsequent conversation often devolves into "yeah fuck men" exchanges between bitter men hating mums.

01/04/2017 @16:00
As a male, naturally I take offence at seeing men being bashed. Clearly you can empathise by the fact you are here defending women because you perceive me as bashing them.

01/04/2017 @16:02
Nah my problem is with women who openly attack the entire male gender based on their experience with a few idiots.

01/04/2017 @16:05
I never aimed it all women, hence the inclusion of an example of the type of quote that pisses me off. Just hoards of women it doesn't even apply to get offended lol.

01/04/2017 @16:07
Nope. This post is aimed at men hating single Mum's so altering the con renders it pointless.

01/04/2017 @16:09
😂😂 The post is about women slagging off men and then claiming benefits men pay towards.

01/04/2017 @16:11
Nope, the foolishness is in most  of women it does not refer to getting offended and going on the warpath... 😂

01/04/2017 @16:15
'men' aren't unreliable fuck sticks. 'some men' are unreliable fuck sticks. Generalising comments like yours inspired the original post.

01/04/2017 @16:24
I am simply returning the compliment twatbird.

01/04/2017 @16:41
This is OP. I am not going over the tax thing again in a reply. Both men and women pay taxes. My post does not say any different. It says men "help" not "solely" fund benefits.

01/04/2017 @16:54
I genuinely wish you no ill will, my frustration on this subject is toward singlemum's who generalise and insult men, yet I still contribute to their benefi ts via my taxes.

01/04/2017 @16:55
I wish you all the best in raising your child & supporting your parents. Family is the most important thing in this life x

01/04/2017 @17:03
❤️ this post if you are a Father who has at any point been pushed out of your child's life by your ex simply for not giving into unreasonable demands.

01/04/2017 @18:00
To argue with this means admitting you cannot read simple English.

01/04/2017 @18:26
I'm a single Dad who has zero entitlement to benefits so...

01/04/2017 @18:30
👌

01/04/2017 @18:32
Wow. Good luck with learning to read.

01/04/2017 @18:51
😂😂✌️

01/04/2017 @19:56
I crave conversation, yet when someone actually messages me, I have no motivation to respond and often ignore it for a few days so that when I do respond they don't continue the conversation.

02/04/2017 @06:41
You're a fucking moron. You cannot understand simple English, try to argue about your misinterpretation of what I wrote, then celebrate some imaginary victory. It's actually concerning.

02/04/2017 @06:45
Read my post you fucking moron. It clearly says that men's wages HELP FUND not SOLELY FUND. The post is about women saying they don't need men. Not about only men paying taxes ✌️

02/04/2017 @07:03
My alcoholism ended when I replaced the addiction with cannabis. My cannabis addiction was later replaced with cocaine. Then the cocaine was replaced with my daughter. I am 2 years clean.

02/04/2017 @07:11
It was the only way to phrase it whilst keeping in with the character limit. It was more a lifestyle thing where I would smoke it everyday. I stopped smoking it but simply substituted it.

02/04/2017 @07:27
Easy way to locate your child at home:
1) Sit on the toilet. or 2) Open a snack.
They will magically appear.

02/04/2017 @14:25
😂😂

02/04/2017 @15:09
Nope, not angry, sorry to shatter the illusion again. I'm simply disappointed. Your parents and/or the education system failed you. I pity you.

02/04/2017 @15:12
Much love. Get some help for your lack of education. Kthnxbai

02/04/2017 @23:48
My Mum always tells me "the right girl will come along when the time is right". She doesn't realise just how cynical of love I am. I romanticise staying single until I die.

03/04/2017 @17:14
Why is it... If a guy rejects a female and she gets upset, he is heartless. If a female rejects a guy and he gets upset, he needs to man up.

05/04/2017 @00:04
Never forget that you are perfectly imperfect just the way you are. Beautiful, unique and original. Be proud to simply be yourself.

05/04/2017 @00:07
Every single time you are trying to wrap up a call, another damn call wanna interrupt you.

05/04/2017 @00:08
Is it just my employer who thinks it's necessary to have pre-meetings about meetings, then post-meetings after meetings to discuss the meetings? I HATE MEETINGS.

05/04/2017 @00:33
Every single time I get in bed at a reasonable hour to get some much needed sleep, a 'quick look' on my phone evolves into a 2 hour trawl through every social media app I have.

05/04/2017 @00:38
I relate, on all avenues of social recognition. Art. Music. Writing. I am proud of my creativity, but nobody else seems to care.

05/04/2017 @00:42
It's bullshit that after outgoings I am left with about 12% of my wages as disposable income. Full time work should afford a better lifestyle than this.

05/04/2017 @06:34
I don't know why you're sorry, but apology accepted.

05/04/2017 @06:56
Perhaps he has been doing research into a surprise for you and doesn't want you to find out.

05/04/2017 @21:10
Most females I know just want "à la carte equality". Embrace the bits that benefit them, reject the bits that don't.

05/04/2017 @23:52
I'd mention this to my employer, but they'd likely schedule a meeting to discuss it!

06/04/2017 @00:39
I cannot fathom how other single parents have time to date and meet new romantic partners. I barely have time to even style my hair.

06/04/2017 @00:40
Only one other woman could ever come before my daughter.
And that's me if I transitioned gender.

06/04/2017 @21:25
In a world where good customer service is a rarity, always make an effort to show your gratitude when an advisor goes out of their way to assist you.

07/04/2017 @06:42
I was spending all my money and all my free time on it. Lazying around baked and shirking all my responsibilities. The affect on my lifestyle was horrendous.

07/04/2017 @06:43
I was spending all my money and all my free time on it. Lazying around baked and shirking my responsibilities. The affect on my lifestyle was horrendous.

07/04/2017 @06:43
Do better than what? :/

07/04/2017 @06:46
Regardless I was spending all my money and all my free time on it. Lazying around baked and shirking all my responsibilities. The affect on my lifestyle was horrendous.

07/04/2017 @06:50
😂👌

07/04/2017 @07:10
I was spending all my money and all my free time on it. Lazying around baked and shirking all my responsibilities. The affect on my lifestyle was horrendous.

07/04/2017 @07:12
I changed circles, moved away from my stoner friends in a bid to stop spending my life sitting monging out at the TV. The new circle of friends were coke abusers, and I have an addictive personality.

07/04/2017 @07:14
I totally agree, like my original post says. Now I haven't touched any recreational drug in 2 years and spend all my time and money on my daughter.

07/04/2017 @07:16
I am very happy for you. I am happier for myself though for improving myquality of life.

07/04/2017 @07:17
I was spending all my money and all my free time on it. Lazying aroundbaked and shirking all my responsibilities. The affect on my lifestyle was horrendous.

07/04/2017 @07:19
Oh, you are one of them types of people who are aren't interested in proper conversation about it, you just wanna troll. Cool, I'll leave you to it. Have a nice day.

07/04/2017 @07:35
It is incredible how more people are bothered by the term "cannabis addiction" than actually bothered with the actual point of the Whisper about turning your life around for your child.

07/04/2017 @07:52
Uhm, no. I didn't approach a female and say "let's have a child so I can overcome my demons". What woman would even agree to that? I had a kid, which motivated me to become a better person.

07/04/2017 @08:02
Thank you very much, there is so much toxic negativity everywhere these days! ❤️

07/04/2017 @18:03
I parent her.

07/04/2017 @21:28
Occasionally I really feel like talking to people. The other 99% of the time I just want people to leave me be.

07/04/2017 @21:32
Depression can overwhelm you and convince you that nobody cares. Somebody always cares. Taking your own life may end your pain, but it transfers the pain to everyone who loves you.

08/04/2017 @22:35
I'm stuck between wanting to be productive, and not being motivated to be productive.

08/04/2017 @23:32
Loneliness tricks us into emotionless relationships. We so desperately want to feel connected, we settle for people we aren't actually compatible with.

09/04/2017 @19:25
I have been there in the past, it used to brighten up my day when someone was openly appreciative. 😁

10/04/2017 @00:21
I prefer masturbation than intercourse. No pressure. No risk of STI's. No risk of pregnancy. No risk of being accused of rape.

15/04/2017 @17:40
Everybody else out living the life of Riley, throwing money around like they are millionaires, meanwhile I'm at the shop trying to figure out if I can afford a can of Fanta.

16/04/2017 @11:38
When you buy someone a gift, and then after the occasion when you give it them, you never see them with it ever again. 😑👎

16/04/2017 @17:43
I hate when someone declines plans with "sorry I can't afford" but then is plastered all over social media out spending money whilst spending time with other people.

16/04/2017 @18:13
Limited word count prevents elaboration in the original post. I have been waiting 2 months for them to "let me know" when they can afford...

16/04/2017 @19:56
And now they've posted that they just bought a Nintendo Switch. Clearly they just don't wanna catch up. Only known them 19 years, no biggie. 😢

19/04/2017 @00:49
The tension when you update your phone OS and you think it's crashed midway... And you're there, helplessly staring at your expensive phone praying that it comes back on alright.

20/04/2017 @19:59
Boundaries? Like what? Stay at home alone my sweet four year old, Daddy deserves to have some romance?

20/04/2017 @20:22
Lmao, it was exaggeration. Of course I make time for basic hygiene. I don't really trust babysitters. My child's safety is more important than me having any romance.

24/04/2017 @00:02
When you've lost people who meant everything to you for no apparent reason, it's difficult to fight for any remaining friendships because it feels pointless.

24/04/2017 @00:02
No you don't.

24/04/2017 @00:04
Lately I've become so apathetic about 99% of things I used to be passionate about.

24/04/2017 @00:06
Love has been romanticised so much in media that people have unrealistic ideals about it. They want the fairytale ending after the fi rst chapter.

24/04/2017 @00:09
I think deep down most of us feel isolated and without purpose. We drift through life desperately trying to fill a void that lingers uncomfortably within us.

24/04/2017 @00:15
No you don't.

25/04/2017 @07:41
N'aww thanks. I love you too. Stay strong. ❤️

30/04/2017 @08:10
A client came to pay for his insurance today, and because his price had increased by £100 due to him lying, he paid the £1300 in £1 coins that we had to count...

30/04/2017 @08:15
I wanted to tell him he was short and force him to recount them himself to prove it was all there but my boss wouldn't let me! 😂😣

30/04/2017 @08:18
My boss didn't want to give the client the satisfaction of knowing it bothered us. The client crashed his car on his way off the car park. Karma. 😂

30/04/2017 @08:19
Wasn't my call - I wanted to say it was short and force him to recount them himself but my boss wouldn't let me 😑

Story: Into Darkness

Into Darkness

The cool silky water swept over me, soothing my body as I awoke to unfamiliar surroundings. White sands reached like great hands spanning far into the horizon, crystal clear white horse crested waves edged the beach, breaking gently along the idyllic shoreline. I lay there momentarily, allowing my thoughts to assemble themselves, as I attempted in vain to montage all recent memories into chronological order. Who was I?

Where was I? I had no recollection of any recent turn of events that would conclude with me awaking on a beach. My ears were ringing almost deafeningly, masking out all logical assumptions. My mind was racing, exaggerated by my rapid heart rate as I began to panic. I could hear the increasing sound of blood pumping in my head, feel the veins pulsating like stressed pipework groaning and creaking from the pressure. My vision was steadily blurring, like looking at the world through someone elses glasses or peering through frosted glass. My skin felt restricting like claustrophobia. But I was outside, deserted in solitude in alien surroundings. How did I get here?

I struggled to sit upright. My chest felt tight and my migraine screamed at me to stop moving about. My throat felt hoarse. Had I been drinking? These symptoms replicated, in extremity, the effects of a hangover, only amplified immensely in magnitude. My skull felt as though it had been hit with a baseball bat; repeatedly. And what was that taste? Copper? I brought my reluctant hand up to touch my mouth. My jaw felt sore, at the back where it met the bottom of my ear. I leant to one side coughing, bracing my stomach against the pain that racked my entire torso. My saliva settled onto the cocaine sand, mirroring the way the water looks on a white porcelain sink when you’ve cut yourself shaving. Watered down crimson saliva? Blood? What had happened to me

Heavy sun beat down onto my exposed frame, weak and vulnerable on this secluded coast. Still unadjusted, I staggered vertically upward shakily to my tentative feet. My white long-sleeved shirt was unbuttoned and ragged, torn chaotically along both sleeves, airing fresh cuts and scratches. My jeans were now reminiscent of 90’s fashion trends, tears and rips almost strategically positioned provocatively their entire length. My shoes were absent, my aching feet swollen and cut, like standing on a broken bottle on a nightclub dance floor. The warm sand sifted between my toes as I began my slow advance across this desolate paradise. How long would I be wandering on aimlessly?

It had been hours. The absence of my watch made accurate timekeeping impossible, however the sun had long ago began to sink into the horizon, casting a beautiful orange pink flare across the ripples of the calm ebbing ocean. I was yet to identify any remnants of a settlement, or even more bewildering, any signs of inhabitants. My weary legs grew evermore reluctant to continue. I’d steadily been heading away from the shoreline and incoming tide for some time, anticipating the possibility that I may need to sleep on the soft refined sand. Now in my weakened state, it appeared that time was nearing. I slowly continued reluctantly, scouting for a suitable bunker to retire for the day, though deep within, my patience was beginning to waver, cynicism overpowering.

I eased my tender back against a small dune, settling my body into a small gully. My empty stomach was slowly succumbing to starvation, whilst dehydration challenged my dry throat. Fatigue had easily bested me, so I lay down exhausted. After looking up at the clear starry sky for a few moments, consciousness began to fade away and before long I had drifted into a restless and fragmented sleep.

I awoke to the sound of seagulls and the welcome aroma of fresh salty ocean air. The cloudless sky was an elegant blue that held the bright midday sun eloquently above me. My clothes were soaked with perspiration, sticking to my famished frame. Sore ribs were prominent; my hips jutting out like cliffs at sea. I needed to eat, but first I’d have to encounter something edible.

I clambered to my feet, shaking straying sand from my clothing. Now, where should I head? All I could guarantee was that behind me was miles of sand and to my right was miles of ocean; I could attempt to catch fish I suppose, but the chances of that weren’t even worth acknowledging. Sure people do it in films or television programmes but that wasn’t actually comparable to reality. Ahead could potentially lay miles more sand, perhaps I could stumble upon a settlement, or maybe a shipwreck. But both were doubtful, the latter definitely a concoction of wishful thinking. Inland held optimism, the sand appeared to peak a few miles in and beyond that, well who knew what lay beyond that? So, my bearing was established, inland it would be.

I trudged inward toward the sun, the sinking white sand swallowing my ankles. The sun beat down heavily again as I soldiered on, exposed and susceptible to the brunt of its natural ferocity. My clothes hung heavily, but their protection was undeniably paramount to my avoidance of sunstroke, so it was a by-product I would grudgingly tolerate.

The sea was steadily disappearing, merging seamlessly into the skyline, the sand seemingly incessant as it enveloped me. The incline in height was evident as the sun cast long shadows rapidly toward the coast, almost as if mocking the distance I’d covered. But the summit was nearing; I could see that not much further ahead the sand levelled off by the way the sun rested high above it - my very own Star of David, leading me to my saviour.

I stumbled over the brow, fatigued but optimistic. What had it concealed? What was it masking from view? Sand stretched far into the distance, its white innocence ridiculing my hopeful anticipation. Presumably defeated I readied to collapse, until I noticed a small black form on the horizon. Far into the distance rested a silhouette, its profile suggesting it was a building, perhaps even a settlement. But without further exploration I couldn’t be sure. I fought back my temptation to rest and instead made a beeline toward it.

The flat delicate sand stubbornly shifted, impeding my approach as best it could, but my desire was too strong. My stomach roared, my throat rasped, my feet screamed for mercy. My ignorance was bliss, my hope masking out pain effortlessly. The building slowly came into focus, it’s features brash, it‘s architecture unrivalled. Enchanting white marble swept up from the sand into a towering structure of ancient splendour. Its exterior walls boasted engravings of inconceivable enormity, yet each was executed with unparalleled accuracy and grace. Adornments of flawless gold spiralled and snaked confidently amidst the etchings, strangely symbolic and suggestive of an ancient religious script. Toward the base, a shallow alcove housed a small open shaft, shielded by an ornate gold portcullis, its wrought bars fashioned into an inverted emblem. There was no evidence of a lock, perhaps the buildings purity and religious appearance was intimidating enough to ward away unwanted attention? Who would have ever imagined such an untainted and pristine building could reside concealed in the barrenness of this desert? Not many I’d presume. Perhaps that explained the absence of a lock? Regardless, it was undoubtedly optimistic for my famished and fatigued body. What wonders would the interior possess? There was only one way to find out, toward the portcullis I advanced.

As I drew ever closer, the sheer magnitude of its grandeur and radiance began to deter even my one track mind. What if the inhabitants were a cult, some hard-core sect of religious fanatics? Maybe their perception of a broken soul entering their harmonious existence would not be favoured? Perhaps they’d resent me for tainting their purity, or simply for encroaching their sacred terrain? Perhaps they’d kill me if they were fervent enough? Perhaps… I shook the negative thoughts from my distracted pessimistic mind. For all I knew, the inhabitants could be casual common everyday folk, so why burden myself with dark imaginings, when momentarily I could discover the secrets of this captivating building?

I reached out and ran my clammy fingers down the unblemished gold bars, just to reassure myself this wasn’t a mirage, or a heat invoked hallucination. It wasn’t. The cool refined quality tingled through my hand, sending shivers the length of my spine. Finally, salvation. I grasped the heavy shimmering gold portcullis unnervingly and began lifting it vertically, easing it into the recess directly above. I struggled arduously, the sun reminding me constantly of the tiring journey I’d already undertook. Then, just when I considered withdrawing and allowing the gate to fall, the weight eased with a dull grind, and then a whirring noise indicated that an antique mechanism had begun to aid my onslaught. Sure enough the portcullis was ascending into the flawless marble, revealing the dark shaft in all of its ominous brilliance. I guess it was time to venture into the foreboding unknown.

The shaft ran long, its menacing darkness consuming me. I ran my hand along the interior walls, guiding myself with small cautious steps as my eyes reluctantly began to adjust to the vastness of the shade. The contrast, when in comparison to the blinding sunlight was unimaginable. It was like stumbling out onto your landing in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and being blinded by that first arc of artificial lighting as soon as you open the door, only amplified tenfold… I paused momentarily, vainly hoping this would allow my eyes to identify some shapes deep in the dark passageway- it didn’t. The only sound I could hear was my rapidly racing heartbeat and my short shallow breaths, echoing faintly the entire length of the passageway. The ancient aroma of unsettled dust steadily choked me as I descended further into the building. 

Ahead, a dim light flickered fleetingly, before being swallowed effortlessly by the silently suffocating shadows. I increased my pace, shuffling progressively onward toward where the light had appeared, tracing the shallow contours of the shade masked walls with my inquisitive fingertips. What were these distinctive markings hidden from my sight, refraining into the heavy darkness? I could not decipher the archaic language, though undeniably the shapes were definite symbols, perhaps a form of biblical Hebrew or another form of sanctimonious script, similar to that lacing the exterior. Regardless it was nothing I could associate or assimilate with.

 Another thing that was growing increasingly difficult to concede was the sheer length of this single shaft. I glanced over my shoulder. The portcullis seemed an eternity away- a kind of picturesque analogy to the light at the end of the tunnel. Though a sixth sense told me I wasnearing the opposite end, with my shuffling footsteps losing their harsh reverb with every passing second. My eyes could now distinguish a defined doorway carved into the untarnished wall ahead. I approached with augmented vigilance, observant of every miniscule detail concerning this antique entrance.

Tracing the edge of the narrow shoulder height vent with sceptical fingertips, I noted any irregularity with anxious apprehension. There appeared to be an oiled disc shaped mechanism to the left, perhaps an ancient lock of sorts? It’s well maintained condition would imply that it had seen recent usage, the sheer quantity of oil suggesting a few days ago at the most. This was encouraging though equally unsettling. Who had used it recently? Were they sociable? Only one way to find out I guess…

I fumbled with the ancient contraption, attempting to fathom it’s method of functionality. It had two holes, placed at polar opposites, with a small insignia embossed in the centre of its extruded disc. I ran my now perspiring clammy hands over its unflawed surface, paying particular attention to the pinpoint perforations. Placing my forefinger and thumb cagily into the hollows, I twisted the disc counter clockwise to the clanking noise of the congruent cogs, the corresponding door reluctantly grinding open. My eyes refrained, my pupils contracting to cower from the harsh brilliance of a thousand chandeliers…

I emerged through the small opening into a vast chamber, with white marble and gold embellishments, elegant furnishings ubiquitously integrated. The walls sporting ornate décor stretched extensively toward a colossal effigy seemingly breaching the magnificently adorned ceiling to the south. A large banquet table spanning the entirety of the chamber lay set with familiar cutlery and crockery, spacing between seating and chattels apparently measured with alarmingly astronomical precision. I stood stupefied by the sheer flawlessness of my surroundings, simply staggered by the immaculate preservation of even the superficially insignificant effects. Whoever attended to the upkeep of this overwhelming superstructure was obviously someone of immeasurable personal standard and unsurpassed patience, someone who cared deeply for the presentation of this monumental abode.

My starved stomach snarled at me, snapping me out of my captivated trance. So where could this resident reside? He must require food, therefore there must be provisions of such context somewhere herein, or otherwise in the immediate vicinity. But where? I began the gruelling task of examining the room in greater detail. I began to stumble drained toward the gargantuan sculpture to the south, paying attention to the symbols sweeping majestically across the walls. There appeared to be aerial plans, ancient blueprints and etchings of antique artefacts depicted accurately, though they lacked resemblance or similarity to anything I‘d ever encountered in my incomprehensible past.

I continued forward, until something caught my eye, a colour so conflicting with its surroundings that it could never have been intentional. A spatter of crimson trailed off about twenty feet away, stopping as suddenly as it started. Indisputably blood. Whose? Was this human sacrifice? I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out. Consciously I drew in a sharp silent breath, and began to edge hesitantly towards the intriguing claret trail.

Silence echoed unnervingly, its prevalence decorating the airwaves. What was that idiom again? Silent as the grave; ironically relevant, as this magnificent structure was beginning to appear concerningly like a tomb, a mausoleum perhaps? My senses were now amplified; my awareness increased despite my state of health. I was nauseated, fatigued, but curiosity had her claws ingrained deep beneath my skin and stubbornly refused to release me… like the ink of a tattoo, those splinters of intrigue we find all too familiar, provoking our animalistic instincts of impulsive recklessness.

I should’ve just left right there and then, but we are ignorant as a species, as humans. We are driven by our fears, our insecurities; we allow our curiosity to guide us blindly into the unwavering darkness knowingly against our better judgement. We continually convince ourselves that something wrong is right, that something bad is good, that our flaws are the fault of somebody other than ourselves. We blame media; the films, the music, the computer games, even religion. We find scapegoats at every turn to justify our own atrocities and misjudgements. We ignorantly repeat our lies into the mirror of our subconscious until we believe them all wholeheartedly, until we convince ourselves that we are not to blame.

Our ignorance is our bliss… and ultimately our undoing.