The clock strikes aggressively to inform myself that it’s 6am once more, whilst here I sit watching The Simpsons and aimlessly scouring the internet. (Scouring the internet refers to downloading films that I never actually plan to watch, music I never plan to listen to and pressing F5 on the time leech that is Facebook).
My plans of productivity falter repeatedly to procrastination.
So the time is 6am, and as the majority of the country prepares to awaken for a day in education, work or achieving something contributory to their lives, I sit reflecting once more. Another day gone; another 24hrs of my life permanently lost. And how did I spend those 24hrs? Getting high and playing on Call of Duty… which in effect amounts to… erm… nothing of any real purpose.
I need to make changes; I know this.
They say you can quit anything if you want to; but what happens when you don’t want to? Even if you know it’s essential? So, this is where I find myself.
A job is required; I need to earn money as the foundation for my career. Once I’ve got enough money to afford a deposit on private accommodation, I could theoretically begin the next chapter of my life. Perhaps the finance issue is myself subconsciously finding another excuse to put my life on hold?
I need a job, and I need to work on personal work for my portfolio. I need willpower, Christ give me strength!!
And once more, my recurring fear of failure kicks in.
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