So University is over; my excuse for a carefree life has expired.
The academic chapter is complete, and in a little over a week my graduation ceremony will mark the definitive end of an era. Twenty two years culminating in a 2.1 degree in Computer Games Design.
Until now, I’d had such aspirations and dreams; however now the time has arrived for me to apply my academic success to a career path, I find that I am thoroughly demotivated. In short, I can’t be arsed.
Personally I know that I am capable of great things; I have unlimited potential for success, yet I’d rather drink or sleep the days away. Perhaps I hyped up my dream career to the point that it’s unattainable; and now I reluctantly accept this fact, and subconsciously steer myself away from the inevitable disappointment that pursuing the elegant plan I had for my life offers?
I maintain the facade in company, discussing with great enthusiasm my delusions of grandeur. But the truth is, for now at least, I just want a simple life. I’d be happy to fade into black with the rest; never standing out, just another face in the crowd. I fear moving on, leaving all I know behind. I’m not ready for the big bad world; not ready to be chewed up and spat out by companies that seek to abuse the expendable pawns of the industry; ergo, me.
Disgusted, I live now hating who I am letting myself become. I was never the person who would settle for second place, but now I’m in a dark place where I feel that first place is a mirage; unobtainable. I don’t want to be the celebrity anymore.
:’(
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