An overview of opinions and observations for the month.
01/06/2013 @00:10
*Note to self* when flirting with a girl, don't
tell them you've shagged their sister.
01/06/2013 @00:43
Can't wait see my Princess in the morning :) ♥
01/06/2013 @09:06
Oh, just fuck off.
[feeling annoyed]
01/06/2013 @16:26
It's like she ain't happy less I'm sad,
getting mad that I'm tryna be
a Dad.../
My daughter is the best thing that I ever had.
02/06/2013 @14:10
Absolutely brilliant night last night, plenty of
banter & jokes. Really enjoyed.
[with Christopher Downs, Lorna Ector,
Rob Cooper, Daniel Ibbs and Tiffany Jade Fairbrother]
02/06/2013 @19:01
Where's Woody? I'm here you bint. Fucking happy
camper looking like an Oxfam manikin, counting down the days to his pension!
Shut up, I can't hear you. Let's start a new topic. Twenty - with two T's, and
a platter of crumpets, you fat wench. Shut your penis - it's like a pickle.
Mop's foreskin is still on the trampoline after the jelly baby wearing a
onesie performed a home circumcision. Rob's got a new Shovel, and it only cost
£3.42 - BOWSH! Are you naked? Can you smell absinthe? Have fun at college
tomorrow because the Paki is here for his takeaway. Just stop spidermanning
your kids please, and learn to value your food instead of no-scoping chips at
a Bart Simpson dodgem. Get off my box - you're boxist. Mmm, hobo toast. Don't
you dare burn the sleeping bag - I've got nothing else to keep me warm
tonight. Erm, there's a fucking fire there? #topclassbanter
[with
Christopher Downs, Rob Cooper, Stefanie Edge and Katty Lambert]
02/06/2013 @22:15
So much passion for my 'baggage'.../
I'll remove you from this Atlas
in a casket!
[with Trevor Young]
02/06/2013 @22:58
If I should die tonight.../
Just know you were the highlight of my
life.
#IC ♥
02/06/2013 @23:39
If I should die tonight -
Just know you were the highlight of my
life.
You gave me something so perfect.
Made the heartache all
worth it.
Gave me a purpose to fight through the darkness.
Inspired
hunger to overcome the hardships.
And even as I'm saying this -
I
know no words could ever quite explain it.
You were the best thing I
had.
I was so proud just to call myself your Dad.
You were my
child, my alpha and omega.
You were my life, my blessing and my
saviour.
Swore I'd never be a failure -
Pray you never felt like I
failed ya'.
I made mistakes and I'm sorry if I hurt you.
Either
way, I never felt that I deserved you.
#IC ♥
03/06/2013 @13:12
Instead of counting down to weekends and
potential disappointment, I'm counting down to Court dates from now on.
[feeling
determined]
03/06/2013 @18:38
"Life is beautiful and short, and in life you have to seek out what you
think is best for you."
03/06/2013 @19:42
You gave me something so perfect -
made the heartache all worth
it.
[http://www.reverbnation.com/anothab/song/17529326-if-i]
03/06/2013 @20:48
The latest episode of Game of Thrones - what the
fuck just happened?! No treading water simply building the plot this week!
Fuck about!
03/06/2013 @21:05
Off for a cheeky beverage with a pretty lady
#favourite
[feeling fresh]
03/06/2013 @23:42
From ashes I have risen with the clearest of vision.../
And nobody
will stop me from completing this mission
[http://www.reverbnation.com/anothab/song/17532080-chasing]
04/06/2013 @00:40
Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a
girlfriend again. But then I have a wank, starfish in my bed and laugh at
those occasional moments of stupidity.
04/06/2013 @13:30
Sunshine should be banned on workdays. Talk
about depressing being sat in an office wearing shirt and tie, looking out at
all the eye candy sauntering past in short skirts and low cut tops.
04/06/2013 @18:52
Work all day, then come home and take care of
stuff that needs sorting in my house. #WKD
04/06/2013 @21:50
Back home after a cheeky little one at the
Moorland Inn with my brother Chris Bostock
[feeling relaxed]
04/06/2013 @23:05
Never letting Mark cut my hair EVER - Good
Jesus, talk about an abortion of a straight fringe! HAHA!
05/06/2013 @09:21
I swear Java updates more often than antivirus.
05/06/2013 @12:53
I love being fucked about by companies that I
pay. #saidnobodyever
05/06/2013 @19:39
Berry weedy big bersketti! :')
05/06/2013 @22:10
My Solicitor has confirmed today that as of
tomorrow I should have a lovely piece of paper to rub in my ex's face in
Court. The content goes something along the lines of "I hope you weren't
hoping Ben's drug history was going to win you this Court case and stop him
seeing his daughter, because he just pwnd that shit like a n00b on CoD,
bitch."
[feeling strong]
05/06/2013 @22:23
"If the average man had to stand and carry my load.../
He would have
chose to fold and surrendered a long time ago.../
But not me though...
I'm not that average Joe!!"
06/06/2013 @00:10
These streets helped raise me, and it may seem crazy.../
But now I've
got a baby, no time to be lazy.../
I need to be who they made me.
[http://www.reverbnation.com/anothab/song/17556275-roots-draftsnippet]
06/06/2013 @00:31
Ahh, the beauty of the single life. #starfished
06/06/2013 @12:03
Nice chat with the CSA over my daughter,
apparently my contributions aren't considered satisfactory. Never mind the
fact I've only seen my child for a total of 10hrs since she was born over 7
months ago! #ironic
[feeling insulted]
06/06/2013 @20:22
The irony of getting my negative drug test
results on the same day I have a really unsightly cold sore above my top lip
that makes me look like I've relapsed!!
06/06/2013 @21:38
[feeling emotional]
06/06/2013 @22:35
My daughter was born 231 days ago... up to now,
I've seen her for 10hrs total. [feeling broken]
06/06/2013 @23:08
I'm trying to do things right, just to be who I
can, A Father to be proud of; a decent kind of man. Moving mountains with my
hands trying to not show the pressure. To make it all seem effortless as I
hold the cracks together. Straining through the weather, sometimes the dark
clouds linger. I just imagine you clasping tightly to my finger. I fear the
sky will fall, and the illusion shatters. Then I look at you and know...
nothing else even matters.x
06/06/2013 @23:56
Fucking brilliant!!!! #tootrue!
#fucklyingadverts!!
07/06/2013 @00:08
Starfishing
[feeling tired]
07/06/2013 @13:15
I love being at work on a day like today.
[feeling
sarcastic]
07/06/2013 @18:48
"Nobody teaches you how to be a Father. You just have to pick it up as you
go. It's a learning curve."
07/06/2013 @19:19
In life, you get what you fight for; nothing
comes easy. The only thing that stands between you and happiness are the
barriers you couldn't be arsed enough to overcome. If you want it, then go and
fucking get it. Stop finding excuses, stop making up bullshit reasons to
explain your failures, and accept that you just didn't try hard enough. You
impose the height of the glass ceiling above you - and in my world, there is
no fucking glass ceiling anymore, I'm going up and nothing is going to stop
me.
[feeling motivated]
07/06/2013 @20:33
Housework is so much better with a decent
soundtrack :)
[listening to Frank Turner]
07/06/2013 @22:38
Impatient bastards, 5th of November is months
away yet...
07/06/2013 @22:42
"Believe in your fucking self. Stay up all fucking night. Work outside your
fucking habits. Know when to fucking speak up. Fucking collaborate. Don’t
fucking procrastinate. Get over your fucking self. Keep fucking learning.
Form follows fucking function. A computer is a Lite-Brite for bad ideas.
Find fucking inspiration everywhere. Fucking network. Educate your fucking
client. Trust your fucking gut. Ask for fucking help. Make it fucking
sustainable. Question fucking everything. Have a fucking concept. Learn to
take some fucking criticism. Make me fucking care. Use fucking spell check.
Do your fucking research. Sketch more fucking ideas. The problem contains
the fucking solution. Think about all the fucking possibilities."
[feeling fuckerish]
07/06/2013 @22:46
"I, Ben Scott, hereby swear to abandon all fear;
to question everything; to trust in myself; to honor those before me as I
excel, and to support those who follow as they ascend. I swear that I will
never accept another’s standard for success, as I set mine one measure higher.
When I am finished, no one will ever fucking look at Ben Scott the same way
again." [http://www.goodfuckingdesignadvice.com/pledge.php]
07/06/2013 @23:44
Can't help but get my hopes up... fingers
crossed that in the morning I get to see my beautiful little Princess. Daddy
loves you Ilysha ♥
[feeling optimistic]
08/06/2013 @08:50
So far so good folks!
[feeling impatient]
08/06/2013 @13:07
Daddy loves his little Princess, and his little
Princess loves him!! ♥
[feeling super]
08/06/2013 @15:51
Jay-Z has 99 problems, I have the 1.
08/06/2013 @21:57
Think I'm going brew up, bang a film on one
screen and smash some PS3 up on t'other...
[feeling relaxed]
08/06/2013 @22:19
I look at some females and wonder why God had to
spoil such a beautiful face with such an ugly personality...
09/06/2013 @01:30
Almost missed a gem, but thankfully PS+ has
really taken care of me.
[playing Ico]
09/06/2013 @11:13
When you're young you take so much for granted;
simple things like love, family and money. As you grow, you begin to lose your
naivety and appreciate the value of these things a lot more. You realise the
world isn't all roses, love isn't easy, family aren't replaceable and money
isn't free. This knowledge brings with it a lot of stress, hurt and
struggling, but you slowly learn what is truly important in this life. You
learn to enjoy the little things in life, the small seemingly insignificant
things of your past become huge parts of who you are. We make our own paths in
this world, and each of us writes our own story in the pages of history, so do
everything in your power to smile, to be happy and to make sure yours is worth
reading at the end of it all x
09/06/2013 @14:11
Going have a quick shower to freshen up, a quick
munch to give me some energy, and then I'm taking one of my little rays of
sunshine to the park for a bit... :) - I love the weekends when I get to see
both Ilysha and Charlie, they're the best!!
[feeling loved]
09/06/2013 @19:53
When Facebook chooses to be stupid.
09/06/2013 @21:27
Brilliant hot weekend, and back to the gym
routine in the morning! Happy but drained!
[feeling tired]
10/06/2013 @20:42
Just had my fix at the gym, now better get ready
for work and then it's Game of Thrones finale later! :)
10/06/2013 @20:27
Definitely.
[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/10106211/Is-Nev-Wilshire-the-real-life-David-Brent.html]
10/06/2013 @20:28
Let the finale commence!!
[watching Game of
Thrones]
10/06/2013 @21:55
Absolute fucking machine.
10/06/2013 @22:34
After going the gym this morning, I think I'm
going to end up right back in beast mode... just smashed up a free weights
session and then back in the gym tomorrow! Fucking LOVE IT!
[feeling
aggressive]
10/06/2013 @23:02
I can tell I'm in a better place these days,
because I feel safe enough to lower my guard a little more, and let people get
a little bit closer.
[feeling strange]
11/06/2013 @08:50
Fresher than I feel. Love he Skinnyman sample
too.
I love and hate it when people try to take credit for my hard work; it's insulting and flattering at the same time!!
Untouchable like nothing can defeat me.../
Retrieved all pieces needed to complete me.
[feeling super]
and you been out fucking someone else not even missing me?"
But I still need to play my part upon this large stage.
Remember back when Myspace was all the rage? Me neither.
#starfishing #singlelife #fucklove
So my phone rings at 11:07am, "Hi Ben, it's Gail, I was expecting you to be at Court?"... what? Oh that's right, the Court changed the date of my hearing but never actually ensured I was aware! So I sprinted out of work, down to the Court by 11:11am... outcome of the Court hearing? Back in on August 12th for an IRH (Issues Resolution Hearing) to hopefully award me unsupervised contact, and parental responsibility... ;) - if Marie contests the decision, then the Court will schedule us in around a month later for a Final Hearing and enforce whatever they feel is in the best interests of Ilysha :) - also I made sure the Court Order issued today stipulated Marie has to fuck off during contact asap, which has been set as her being present for the next two sessions, then not being allowed to stay after that date. I need to attend a PPP (Positive Parenting Programme) as Marie has tried to say that my interaction with Ilysha is minimal (joke, I know) so they want me to prove I have basic parenting skills now (walk in the park whistling dixie ;) haha). So yeah, absolute fucking nightmare scenario, but with a positive outcome.
[feeling accomplished]
[feeling appreciated]
The payments I've made for maintenance of my daughter so far average out at over £176 a month since she was born, I'm such a neglectful parent - probably a good thing my ex rang the CSA on me, because now they're enforcing £152 a month... LOL!
[feeling amused]
They got it twisted must've missed it when I spit this quick, the sickest in this business, victim to intricateness of lyrics.
Now I feel that I can be exactly who I try to be.../
The person who I like to see, in the mirror smiling back at me.../
The one I've broke my back to be.
[https://soundcloud.com/anothab/13-whatever-is-necessary]
The sooner you realise that life will always have complications, the sooner you can learn to focus on the positive aspects. Don't channel all of your energy into overcoming obstacles, because being happy and having fun requires energy too.
[feeling fresh]
Common courtesy is free, and very much appreciated. I'm so glad I surround myself now with people who are considerate and understand basic manners.
[feeling grateful]
It's official, #Facebook have implemented #Twitter and #Instagram style #hashtagging. Shit just got real. #hashtagtheuniverse
[feeling #hashtaggy]
Heading back off the tracks,
so I snapback like a hat super fast -
cause I don't want to do that.
[http://www.reverbnation.com/anothab/song/17654222-mellow]
the road has been rocky but I've handled it properly.../
Jumped through the hoops, overlooked all the lies,
crossed all the t's and I've dotted all the i's.../
Don't seem so surprised at my heart and my patience,
I'm in this for the win, not just participation.
Almost time to go see the girl I love the most.
[feeling incomplete]
There are only 9hrs a week I care about. I spend 7 of them with my Godson Charlie who is like my own Son, and I spend the other 2 of them with my Princess Ilysha. I can't wait until the 2 is a higher number, but for now, it's enough to remind me why I fight to keep her in my life.
[feeling complete]
Focusing on the mirror and the man gazing back.../
It's amazing how fast the last two years passed.
[http://www.reverbnation.com/anothab/song/17654222-mellow]
2 page Legal Help Form completed, 4 page PPP Referral Form completed, 22 page Legal Aid Adjustment Form completed, and a 22 page CSA Enforcement Form completed. Now I need to get evidence of all the requested items they've specified together. I fucking hate filling out Court paperwork these days, but Ilysha is worth it.
If you follow the masses.../
My spit burns you deep like I've been swallowing acid.../
Vicious malice, malicious delicious sicker and savage than the average.../
Action the challenge but can't manage the damage!
If you're ever carrying a huge pile of clean washing, and drop one sock... just leave it.
[playing 52 Items of Clothing Pick Up]
[watching We Steal Secrets: The Story Of Wikileaks]
[feeling proud]
Can't believe I've actually written and recorded over 200 songs. #anothab [http://anothartist.tumblr.com/]
Today I get to see pretty much all my immediate family.
[feeling lucky]
"Radioactive: Imagine Dragons" is a beast of a tune for getting pumped!
Brilliant Father's Day, as much as I'd have loved to see my daughter, at least I got to see my Charlie. For my Godson to love me as much as he does, I must be doing something right.
[feeling loved]
Nice brew and catch up with David Michael Lawton, now back to Amalur I go.
Oops, where did the last few hours go? Guess I'm not having any tea tonight haha.
[feeling confused]
I need a coffee, coffee, coffee is what I need.
Snapchat was designed to capture the moment exactly how it happens, raw passionate and unedited. Unfortunately too many people misinterpret this for meaning you should send 12 pictures every hour, as a testament to how boring your life is.
"I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust."
Weights, dates and protein shakes.
Nyrök returns with his Godslayer Greatsword. #geekmode
Went #Puregym, then watched #TheHobbit and played #KingdomsofAmalur, now going to #starfish with a smile... I'm a man of simple things.
[feeling mellow]
"The sky’s a lot higher than the ceiling.
So reach out grab it, the world is yours - have it."
[feeling fresh]
Happily submitted the latest batch of Court related paperwork, glad to see the back of that let me tell you!
[feeling relieved]
Think I'm going give this #JackTheGiantSlayer a chance whilst I head back into #Amalur.
PS3 has reared it's head once more as my unhealthy obsession. Those famous last words... "I'll just do this next bit..." - then two hours later, you realise you're still playing.
There ain't a thing I've faced that's been too much for me.
[feeling fanfuckingtastic]
Instagram video? Hmm.
"Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things."
In this life, the best that we can do is give 100%; you can either go hard, or go home. I have evolved, grown up, and made oxygen my viagra. I go hard every single time in every thing I do, and I'm making up no excuses. You need to either get aboard my train of thought, or you'd better get the fuck out the way of it. Success is a journey, not a destination and no life is determined by a single event. I'm a machine, and you don't possess the technology or knowledge to stop me. Come at me bro.
[feeling determined]
With age comes wisdom; you learn the value of the simple things you once took for granted like family, money, happiness and love.
Awesome night with Christopher Downs, my brother from another. Now I think I best get my head down, up for the gym at 6am, then I get to see my lil' Princess!
[feeling blessed]
Dedication; doing something you don't want to, purely because you know that you should. Like getting up and going the gym this morning... *yawn*
I don't make a habit of weighing myself... but since the last time I did, I've lost over 1 and a half stone! Currently weighing in at 215lbs.
[feeling healthy]
[reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius]
Daddy's little Princess is getting very vocal! She sat talking to me for about 10 minutes today, just gurgling and laughing to herself whilst I replied hehe :') - and from here on in, I've had it Court ordered that the ex has to leave for the full session and not be present whatsoever during my access so winner winner! All smiles and sunshine this side of Facebook!
[feeling amazing]
Awesome cover of Passenger: Let Her Go by my mate @Marc Williams - proud to say I know this talented lad!
Chilled afternoon having a catch up with my ode fruit Bas.
[feeling mischievous]
Family are the most important thing in life, not just immediate and blood related, but including those who you consider family for the loyalty, love and support they've shown. Show me somebody who disagrees, and I'll show you somebody who is wrong.
Today was full of win.
[feeling loved]
Who's added me on Snapchat with a username including "018813"? Any takers?
Out of Amalur, into bed.
[feeling addicted]
#ClairePerry needs to get a fucking grip. I'm getting beyond pissed off now with these totalitarian cunts trying to dictate and control all aspects of my life! Whatever happened to Freedom of Speech and Human Rights? Nowadays you're not allowed to say what you think or feel, do what you want, or even live with the basic right to privacy. #beyondajoke
Bit of light entertainment for the afternoon, watching some idiot druggy get cuffed and searched over a police car bonnet outside work, then caged up in a riot van for possession haha. His missus is there protesting that "he ain't done owt" meanwhile the feds are pulling bags of white powder, and napkins of crack rocks out of his pockets!
All it takes is a photo of my daughter, and nothing else even matters. My worries, cares and concerns all fade away. Daddy love's you Princess Ilysha, you are my everything, and I'll never stop fighting to be a part of your life ♥
[feeling blessed]
[with Christopher Downs]
"Hi, I'm ringing to arrange a further session of mediation for you and Marie..." "No thank you, I'm not wasting more time on that. Since the last session where Marie appeared reasonable and interested in conflict resolution, she has returned to being non-communicative and shows no interest in being civil whatsoever. I understand that mediation is voluntary from herein, and I have no interest in wasting more time booked off work for pointless appointments. Feel free to convey my thoughts to Marie, and I'm sure she'll agree it's a fruitless venture. Ok, thanks, goodbye."
"I know my Kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes." ♥
I'm falling for your aura, rest assured you're gorgeous.
26/06/2013 @23:06
Riposte a wolf with my Bastardblade, 982 attack damage ;) x [with Chris Downs]
Just watched #Sinister after seeing Tiffany mention it earlier, and must admit, that is one seriously fucked up film! Who the fuck thinks this stuff up? They must have psychiatric issues, good fucking Jesus.
Ahh, this is what it's about. Got up at about half 6 after just 5hrs sleep, went and smashed the gym up with Tez for a chest session, and now I'm at work... buuuut what am I doing? Sitting with my feet up, headphones in, a nice hot coffee, listening to Radical Face whilst waiting to partake in an hour webinar on Advanced Conversion Rate Optimisation. My job is pretty boss tbh. [feeling likeaboss]
Love this atm bro ;) [with Chris Downs]
[feeling amused]
Just one more day to go folks, then it's payday weekend again! Then you can all go out and enjoy getting off your faces, and I can enjoy seeing my lil' Princess and my Godson once more! ♥
[feeling content]
I don’t know what inspired you to spill your heart last night brother, but I am proud of the fact you have matured enough to be honest about emotions :) - I don’t see you enough these days, and time goes too quickly. Before you realise it, a few more months have passed without us meeting up. Terry mentioned about me, you and him getting together more often, and I’d really like that – it’s just finding the opportunity to accommodate it. That’s the main problem as you get older, your responsibilities increase with work/education/family etc, and the more people involved in a plan, the more circumstances you have to work around. I’m sure we can sort something though :) - You’ll always be my little brother, and time has proven that blood isn’t thicker than water – I’m always here if you really need me, even if it’s just advice, or someone to talk too (just don’t whinge to me about Stoke results cause I don’t care haha :P) – but straight up, genuinely, I love you little bro and I’m glad you’re a part of my family ♥ x x x
[with Matthew Morris]
If you mumble to yourself in my presence, I will be polite and ask you to repeat what you said as I didn’t hear. If you then mumble it again, you can fuck off and I won’t care what you’re saying. You’ll be ignored, simple. #pethate
That beautiful time of the week! Daddy's getting ready to come and see you my Princess Ilysha! ♥
[feeling untouchable]
The absolute best two hours of my entire life spent with just me & my beautiful little Princess :') ♥
[feeling super]
I'm yet to find any words that actually do her justice, so for now I'll settle for saying my little daughter is absolute perfection... ♥ - flawless & gorgeous. Every second I spend with her is more than worth every second I spend fighting for her... she is my alpha & omega, my world & everything in it... Daddy loves you so much giggleface, & I truly can't wait to see you again my Princess Ilysha.
[feeling invincible]
Got my life in order, so I could be there for her.../
And nothing is ever gonna stop me.../
The road has been rocky, but I've handled it properly.
[feeling freshasadaisy]
the blessing of the century - all of you should envy me.../
A miracle so heavenly, my love for her has set me free,
embracing my destiny - I'm giving her the best of me!
[http://www.reverbnation.com/anothab/song/16778757-hurricane]
Even as I'm saying this...
I know no words could ever quite explain it./
You were the best thing I had -
I was so proud just to call myself your Dad.
[http://www.reverbnation.com/anothab/song/17529326-if-i]
My music is my therapy, my coping mechanism and my diary. It's crazy how much the content has changed - it reminds me how far I've come, and how much better my life is these days...
[feeling super]
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