Ebola

Cue ensuing panic regarding the devastating disease that is reportedly fatal in 50%-90% of cases. Granted it sounds fucking awful (especially the bleeding from the eyes part, more on that later), but take deep breaths for a moment and actually educate yourselves before you begin declaring that the apocalypse is upon us. If you have a headache, sore throat and sore muscles, it doesn't mean you have Ebola; that's just called a hangover, have some paracetamol, a bacon butty and sleep it off princess.

The word "crisis" is being plastered over every tabloid like it's a leaked celebrity nude photo, alongside pictures of alleged zombies, and scenes of bio suits that look like they could be straight from Breaking Bad, with Heisenberg himself in a quaratined meth lab. The media frenzy even extends it's fearmongering to declaring that the killer virus has a 50% chance of hitting the UK shores by the end of the month, and stating that David Cameron himself has ordered an "emergency Cobra meeting" to discuss how the country is best to deal with a "deadly spread" in the UK. Christ on a fucking bike.

Here's a thought, and I know it sounds absolutely batshit cray-cray, but how about we stop letting people back into the country when they've been to areas of high infection? For instance, if someone has been in Liberia, Guinea or Sierra Leone where there have been over 2200 deaths due to Ebola, don't allow them to hop off a plane and head down to the local Maccies with their buddies for a fucking Big Mac. It's not really rocket science.

Also, for those of you who are too blinded by media, or too ignorant to bother to research this kind of shit for yourselves before running a panic train all over social media trend feeds:

People can become infected with the Ebola virus if they come into contact with the blood, body fluids or organs of an infected person.

Seems fairly restricted unless you're some kind of rampant sex fiend, a Dexter type serial killer hacking up his victims, or a smack head sharing unsterilised Ebola syringes. It explicitly states in every viable source I've queried that Ebola is not commonly spread through routine social contact such as sitting in the same area as somebody who is infected, or even as far as shaking their hand; it is not typically an airbourne transmitted disease, so unless you're letting people sneeze directly into your mouth like some kind of freak with a phlegm fetish, don't worry so much.

And finally don't even get me started on all this malarky about zombies... Jesus fucking Christ, if any of you seriously believe that this is legit, then I hope you catch Ebola. It's Halloween in a few weeks, if you see people in the street looking like zombies, they won't be Ebola victims rising from the dead, they'll be 16 year old degenerate teenagers blackmailing you for sweets and cash in exchange for them not kicking your head in.

I'm undecided as of yet whether the zombie rumours aren't just a clever marketing ploy for the Walking Dead that returns to grace our screens on Oct 12th... either way, I'm confident that Ebola is just much ado about nothing, like most of the shit that we are constantly force fed on a daily basis from every possible media source imaginable.

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