Tough Mudder, Yorkshire 2023: Prep

"Sounds like a bad idea. I'm in."

It began with unexpectedly being added to a WhatsApp group by my brother back in April, to which I shortly thereafter committed to the insanity. And with the commitment to participation, came the immediate realisation I needed to get a gruelling training regime in order, invest in appropriate attire (which would subsequently be trashed on event day), and get my nutrition in check.

And so the fun and games began.

Training

As event day approached, all was coming together; I had gone from being a 14st skinny-fat who struggled to hold a 25-second Plank, and had never ran recreationally...

...to the 13st 7lb machine I am today; capable of holding a 150-second Plank, and running 5km in under half an hour. My RHR is down to 53bpm. My Cardio Fitness based on VO2 Max is gauged at ~49 (very good for my age bracket)...

I'm still not hitting my daily Protein goals, but my nutrition is markedly better than it was.

As far as being race-ready goes, I'm about as close as I could possibly get. A few more days of chicken, rice & vegetables, and a couple more days of training, and it's a wrap!

That was all of course until I developed facial swelling and pain a few days before the event which caused severe discomfort, lack of sleep, and also impacted on my planned training! Because you know, when you don't do drugs, drink alcohol, smoke or vape, you eat clean, drink plenty of water, exercise, brush and floss your teeth etc - of course, life is like "fuck you, here have illness" as a thank you for taking care of yourself! 🙃 So, it transpires I'll be doing Tough Mudder on Metronidazole antibiotics, and painkillers 💁🏼‍♂️ and if that wasn't bad enough, my sister-in-law had been in hospital with a Campylobacter coli infection she'd picked up in Turkey and would only be discharged less than 48hrs before the event!

Equipment

In respect of investment, atop the cost of booking to participate, there have been further necessary purchases for the big day. As a guy who wears hiking boots pretty much all the time (other than football boots and work shoes), I noted quickly that I would need some trail running trainers; ultimately, I went with the Adidas Tracefinder which has proved to be a very solid build. 

I read guides on what to expect; they said not to wear cotton clothing as it will retain water. Awesome, more expenditure I thought! So, for decent wicking shirt & shorts, I opted for Under Armour (largely due to the offer at Sports Direct that bagged the pair for £34). Mobility seems fine, and I shouldn't need to worry about ripping the crotch of my shorts clambering over Mudderhorn, which is a definite bonus.

And to aid in my training efforts, I bought a skipping rope, resistance band, hand grip, and ice-cube tray. No, seriously; that last one was important for Arctic Enema and general cold therapy preparation. Never thought I'd see the day where I enjoy cold showers, alas, life is full of surprises!

Obstacles

The Obstacles were unveiled a week before the event, and overall I was pretty chuffed with the hand we'd been dealt. The only obstacles I'd hoped for that were omitted were the Funky Monkey, and Cry Baby; the former I had wanted to challenge myself to clear, and the latter - well, it just sounded like the kind of self-inflicted torture the Tough Mudder OCR is renowned for! And if I was making the effort to do the event, I damn well wanted to earn the right to say I'd done it properly!

Ice cold water? ✅ Barbed wire? ✅ 10,000 volt electrocution? ✅ 

I could only hope that the Mystery Obstacle [26] was something equally challenging. I did not want this to be a walk in the park. I wanted to challenge the limits of my endurance!