The day had arrived, and I'd had an abysmal nights sleep thanks to waking up repeatedly, panicking I was going to sleep through my alarm. Alas, the show must go on! I got up, got my shit together, and prepared to go get muddy!
We drove out to Broughton Hall, Skipton, arriving at around 11am and parking in a field. Although the sun kept appearing in brief stints, there had also been several bouts of rain meaning the course would definitely be muddy! We headed up to Mudder Village for check in as all of the team arrived, emptied our bladders, deposited our bags at the Bag Drop, then headed over to the start line for the 12:30pm wave. Let's fucking go, team!
[00] Warm Up
After a spritely leap onto the first haybale to enter the start area, Chris proceeded to trip on the second 🤣 the warm up was par for the course exercises, with a D-Generation-X pose thrown in for good measure, and some bizarre activity where I was rolled around the floor like a pencil 🤨 we all repeated the Tough Mudder Pledge: "I understand that Tough Mudder is not a race but a challenge. I put teamwork and camaraderie before my course time. I do not whine – kids whine. I help my fellow Mudders complete the course." And then we were off!
[01] Hero Walls
En route to the very first obstacle, Stace was struggling to maintain the pace; as myself & Chris pulled ahead, I glanced back to see Lea giving her a piggyback 😂 the first obstacle comprised of two 8ft walls, the second with a wooden outcropping. We helped everyone up and over who needed it; Stace was carried from the first wall to the second wall on either Lea's/Chris's shoulders, and I hero lifted her down at the end 😂
[02] Kiss of Mud
After a little running ahead with Chris, we all arrived at the first real obstacle: crawling face down, through mud, under rows of barbed wire. Let's get muddied up early doors to set the precedent! Opting to go through the muddiest side, the added lubricant helped to glide across the muddy floor, and we arrived at the other side fucking caked 😂[03] King of the Mountain
Another notable run to one of the least impressive obstacles; a pile of haybales. Literally, just some haybales 😐 At least the Spectator Route bypassed, allowing a few good shots from Anwen of us!
[04] Blockness Monster
Unanimously voted one of our favourite obstacles! We plunged into cold water, and had to help rotate huge blocks to pull teammates over them - not that every team there was interested in helping turn the blocks and would rather just expect others to get them over! Again we had Spectator support from Anwen so you can enjoy this picture of me kicking someone in the head whilst pulling myself over the top!
[05] Mud Mile
More running ensued and then what was quite possibly our favourite obstacle arrived! Absolute fucking muddy carnage! The professional photos were shit, and the Spectator Route bypassed it... however. Forget the house bricks sticking out the mud, some rando tearing Chris' ass pocket off, the reeds wrapping around your legs, and the difficulty of trying to dig your fingers into mounds of claylike mud... and instead remember Tez sliding straight down and being submerged up to his neck 😂 and Chris disappearing behind me on a fucking invisible sled, whizzing off like a human bowling ball and wiping out some rando! 😂
[06] Hydrophobia
We ran down a bank, past a small building and crossed over a little creek to arrive at this unimpressive 'mystery obstacle'. It was a long paddling pool with some plastic tubes laying across it to force you underwater. Chris went straight in and swam the entire length without surfacing. I followed him. "It's Tough Mudder, not Tough Water" was the cry from a marshal as Bailie helped Stace under the plastic tubes that lay across the reed filled, pungent water. Hmm.
[07] Birth Canal
We bypassed a refuelling station where Lea got some extra training in by passing crates of energy drinks to the steward who proceeded to pour small plastic cups from the £0.59 bottles... christ, I thought, just give people a full bottle and reduce the single use plastics you cheap fucks 😂 anyway, we continued up a hill to the next lacklustre obstacle, running past a pair of abandoned trainers - fuck knows who was running the course barefoot, but I did not envy them. The next obstacle comprised of a bit of tarp laid over some wooden pallets to form a small tunnel to army crawl through. Tez was of the opinion there was supposed to be water on top of the tarp to weigh it down as you crawled under; there wasn't though, and as such, this was a mediocre encounter. Onward we continue.
[08] Pyramid Scheme
Down the next bank we reached another fun teamwork obstacle; this one (again, frustratingly without any photos) was a huge sloped platform, around 18ft long at a guess. Chris dove right in and helped give me a foot up so that two rando's could pull me up, from then I was locked in on getting everybody else up. Hooking my knees under the top of the ramp as best I could, we began lifting everyone up one at a time. Last there was Terry helping Lea up; as myself & Chris pulled him up, he called back to Tez to "grab my feet" which afterwards led to the hilarious realisation he'd expected us to somehow pull both of them up at the same time 🤣 thankfully Tez didn't grab his feet, and instead some randos gave him a boost instead!
[09] Arctic Enema
Just around the corner was this staple obstacle; sliding down a tube and being submerged into a metal shipping contained full of freezing cold water 🥶 the wind was already biting, and we observed the water surely could not be that much colder 😅 Stace was reluctant but we reassured her that we'd get her through it so we all clambered up. Myself, Tez and Chris were positioned to go first, however a lady ahead of us froze up at the bottom of my chute in distress and as one marshal attended to her, Chris and Tez were told to continue without me. Tez tried to loitor to wait for Stace at the bottom of the slide but was forced to go on ahead. I went down alongside Stace, and as we hit the water I pulled her to the surface with me - immediately I could tell the cold had stolen her breath - as I held her up beside me in the icy water, the marshal was telling her to take controlled breaths which she did but she was admittedly shaken and looked panicked. I reassured her that I'd help her under the tyre barrier which separated us from the others, and on the count of three, we both submerged. I realised pretty quickly it was not going to be easy to pull her along with me, so instead, I pushed her ahead as best I could, then swam under myself to find her reunited with Tez who was waiting the other side. As she climbed out the container her lips were already turning blue! 😳
[10] Creek Crusade
The next obstacle was another questionable one; this was just a river that intersected with the route, so we were diverted into knee-to-waist high water to wander up the riverbed for a small section. Felt a bit of a cop-out obstacle tbh, but it was going to be followed by three cornerstones. First we'd need to take another lengthy run, climb over another unexpectedly present Hero Wall, and arrive at the ending stage right beside the Mudder Village and the Spectator Route 😁
[11] Everest
Running up a halfpipe sounded difficult - but ultimately, it actually wasn't. We got everybody up, first try. Even in spite of Bailie's unconventional approach 😂 I thought we were going to lose Lea at one point, but I managed to keep hold of him just long enough for the team to help pull him up!
[12] Mudderhorn
This obstacle was an A-frame the height of a 3-storey building. It began with getting up a small wooden wall onto the netting. After we helped a rando up, Chris headed up. I hung back and helped Bailie up, then Tez joined me to get Stace up. Then myself, Lea, & Tez all made our own way into the netting. Stace struggled at the top, but between the team, they managed to get her over and down safely.
[13] Electroshock Therapy
And finally we arrived muddy, tired, but proud at the final obstacle; the 10k volt electrocution! Bailie opted out of this one, but the other 5 of us composed ourselves, and agreed to run through it holding hands for a poetic photo finish... Or not 🤣
[FIN]
We collected our merch (headbands, shirts, beers, protein bars, energy drinks etc) and got our picture finish in Mudder Village.
We collected our merch (headbands, shirts, beers, protein bars, energy drinks etc) and got our picture finish in Mudder Village.
Summary
A couple of general observations from the day:
- There was a marked lack of marshalls around the course, which given the potential for injury was disconcerting. At the beginning you are shown how to signal for medical assistance (crossing your arms above your head), however it was apparent around most of the course that if you did, there were no actual staff to witness it.
- The Spectator route was frustratingly limited meaning the opportunity to have decent photos from the obstacles was compounded. This was exacerbated by the almost non-existent coverage of the obstacles by Tough Mudder appointed professional photographers. On our route, only the Mud Mile and Electroshock Therapy obstacles had photo-ops by the event coordinators.
- The shower/changing facilities at the end of the event comprised of a few hose pipes dangling from a metal frame, and some tents. My brother advised there were people stripping to their underwear, and running across with armfuls of wet clothing to the tents as there was no other feasible approach.
That aside, the event itself was an absolutely incredible experience! The teamwork, sense of comradery, and exaltation at our shared accomplishment is incomparable! Wholly recommended!
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