Simply Being FRANK

I was a late starter in the drugs scene, not having my first experience until I was 20 years old; I'd always been the clever, strong one who didn't succumb to peer pressure and stayed engrossed in education and studies, avoiding the developing trend between friends.

Following the break down of a 4yr relationship with my fiancee, I found a big space in my life that I couldn't fill and as a result ended up becoming a frequent cannabis user. I constantly reassured myself that I was in control, that I wouldn't ever let it escalate to further despite stories of weed being a gateway drug. After around a year I began to dabble in other illicit substances, from amphetamines and ketamine, to ecstasy and cocaine. It was the latter that proved the problem.

I began to use cocaine increasingly frequently as an escape. At first it was here and there, a cheeky line to get the night going when I went out with like minded friends, a beer and a gram soon became the established norm, but it quickly became the case that one gram wasn't enough and before I knew it I was having 3 or 4 grams most nights. Where I'd once spent nights out dancing and drinking, socialising and flirting, I now spent them phoning dealers all night and ordering taxis left, right and centre to score in the early hours. 

At the time I closed my eyes to the extent of the addiction, but after realising I'd spent £8,000 in a month, I accepted the situation was way out of hand, and I was no longer in control. I swore to myself that was it, I wasn't being that person anymore. That being said, it wasn't that simple with drugs, especially when your circle of friends are reluctant to give up the fast life. I was living like a rock star when I was far from it. Debt was mounting, and I was regularly turning up to work on no sleep, wired and having to battle through the day on a comedown, sometimes even taking a small amount with me so I could get a fix midway through my shift.

I am still battling to knock it all on the head, despite the severity of the damage caused; I guess all drug abusers are self destructive to some extent. It is very rare these days that I allow myself to slip up, but even the isolated incidents serve to prove that drugs have more of a hold than you can ever realise until it's too late.

I know most won't heed my words, but if you don't want to find out for yourself just how difficult it is to stop an addiction, don't tempt it in the first place. Say no to taking drugs, before it gets to the point where you can't say no.