An overview of opinions and observations for the month.
01/08/2023 @10:50
"Three questions determine 99% of the happiness in your life:
1. What am I working on and why?
2. Who am I spending time with and why?
3. How well am I treating my body and why?
Everything else is noise."
[Mark Manson]
"Three questions determine 99% of the happiness in your life:
1. What am I working on and why?
2. Who am I spending time with and why?
3. How well am I treating my body and why?
Everything else is noise."
[Mark Manson]
01/08/2023 @12:48
Ugh, fucking simps and pick-me's.
Ugh, fucking simps and pick-me's.
02/08/2023 @22:55
Nice night video-calling with Lysh; you appreciate it more when it's infrequent 🥰
Nice night video-calling with Lysh; you appreciate it more when it's infrequent 🥰
03/08/2023 @21:16
"You've been moving mad recently, I ain't been condoning your behaviour"
"You've been moving mad recently, I ain't been condoning your behaviour"
04/08/2023 @09:48
Why am I single? Well. I guess it's because I find loads of women physically attractive; so I expect the same applies for everyone else. And since being in a relationship does not magically suspend this natural attraction, I don't feel like I have enough to offer for a partner to remain faithful against that human nature 🤷♂️🧠
Why am I single? Well. I guess it's because I find loads of women physically attractive; so I expect the same applies for everyone else. And since being in a relationship does not magically suspend this natural attraction, I don't feel like I have enough to offer for a partner to remain faithful against that human nature 🤷♂️🧠
05/08/2023 @21:36
Lovely day with Lysh - been Maccies, Fez & Hanley do some holiday clothes shopping... went overbudget as ever - been JD, Go Outdoors, New Look, River Island, Next, Sports Direct, Tesco, Wilkos, Primark... racked up a solid £295 spending 🤑 but at least kiddo is chuffed with her haul - especially her Converse - and I'm at ease that we have everything we need now, even a £39 swimming costume 😐 but now my anxiety can stfu & let me get excited for Tenerife! Lysh is currently in the bath in her new snorkel 🤿😂
Lovely day with Lysh - been Maccies, Fez & Hanley do some holiday clothes shopping... went overbudget as ever - been JD, Go Outdoors, New Look, River Island, Next, Sports Direct, Tesco, Wilkos, Primark... racked up a solid £295 spending 🤑 but at least kiddo is chuffed with her haul - especially her Converse - and I'm at ease that we have everything we need now, even a £39 swimming costume 😐 but now my anxiety can stfu & let me get excited for Tenerife! Lysh is currently in the bath in her new snorkel 🤿😂
05/08/2023 @23:37
"Dear Diory, Bich."
"Dear Diory, Bich."
06/08/2023 @21:09
Another lovely day. Woke up about half-10, had a little cuddle with Lysh then we got ready to go Brindley Farm with family for Laura's birthday 🍖🥔🥦 Had a lovely carvery, then come back home & had a visit from Tez & Stace who were dropping off suitcases for us; after Lysh was picked up, we went across Moorland and sat in beer garden for a couple hours 🍻 real nice day 🥰
Another lovely day. Woke up about half-10, had a little cuddle with Lysh then we got ready to go Brindley Farm with family for Laura's birthday 🍖🥔🥦 Had a lovely carvery, then come back home & had a visit from Tez & Stace who were dropping off suitcases for us; after Lysh was picked up, we went across Moorland and sat in beer garden for a couple hours 🍻 real nice day 🥰
08/08/2023 @22:47
Bought myself a few new shirts for holiday, backed up my PC, and it feels like we are almost done here! 💯
Bought myself a few new shirts for holiday, backed up my PC, and it feels like we are almost done here! 💯
09/08/2023 @20:20
Been for a fresh trim 💈 Lysh's new headphones & Ranboo jacket have arrived 📦 and I'm pretty much ready to get on the fucking plane now! 🛫🌅
Been for a fresh trim 💈 Lysh's new headphones & Ranboo jacket have arrived 📦 and I'm pretty much ready to get on the fucking plane now! 🛫🌅
09/08/2023 @23:56
Just nipped out to give Kolawole Olowolafe his bank cards back, and swung in to visit Mr Carney since it's his birthday 🥳
Just nipped out to give Kolawole Olowolafe his bank cards back, and swung in to visit Mr Carney since it's his birthday 🥳
10/08/2023 @23:58
Right, that's it. Last night to myself over. Off to bed, kiddo comes tomorrow, and then I'm off work until Aug 29th! Let's fucking go!
Right, that's it. Last night to myself over. Off to bed, kiddo comes tomorrow, and then I'm off work until Aug 29th! Let's fucking go!
12/08/2023 @20:15
Relaxing day with Lysh & Ava playing Bloxburg together (after I bought Ava a £10 Robux gift card 😁) - 48hrs from now, we'll be in Tenerife!
Relaxing day with Lysh & Ava playing Bloxburg together (after I bought Ava a £10 Robux gift card 😁) - 48hrs from now, we'll be in Tenerife!
13/08/2023 @13:02
Let's get some offline content onto Lysh's iPhone for her to watch on the plane... jesus fuck 🙃 copy loads of tv episodes of Adventure Time and Ben 10 onto a USB stick, transfer them onto my Pixel 7 Pro using the USB-A/C adapter... try Bluetooth to Lysh's iPhone... doesn't work? Oh, iPhone won't let you Bluetooth from Android, you can only AirDrop from iOS... 😐 ok. of course. right. Upload all the files to Dropbox instead, create individual public links for each file, send them each one at a time via WhatsApp... and now download each episode on Safari one by one onto her iPhone 😶 let's check it works... oh, AVI is not supported on iOS... FUCK OFF. Right, now VLC is downloaded... and now we are done here. What a fucking trauma! Fucking Apple man 🍎
Let's get some offline content onto Lysh's iPhone for her to watch on the plane... jesus fuck 🙃 copy loads of tv episodes of Adventure Time and Ben 10 onto a USB stick, transfer them onto my Pixel 7 Pro using the USB-A/C adapter... try Bluetooth to Lysh's iPhone... doesn't work? Oh, iPhone won't let you Bluetooth from Android, you can only AirDrop from iOS... 😐 ok. of course. right. Upload all the files to Dropbox instead, create individual public links for each file, send them each one at a time via WhatsApp... and now download each episode on Safari one by one onto her iPhone 😶 let's check it works... oh, AVI is not supported on iOS... FUCK OFF. Right, now VLC is downloaded... and now we are done here. What a fucking trauma! Fucking Apple man 🍎
22/08/2023 @15:10
Coming back home from all-inclusive to cost-of-living-crisis is a huge downgrade on the variety and quality of meals 😂
Coming back home from all-inclusive to cost-of-living-crisis is a huge downgrade on the variety and quality of meals 😂
22/08/2023 @16:51
The Uncomfortable Truth is that life is ultimately meaningless, so our minds must create narratives that give us hope (and subsequently purpose). Without hope and purpose, we would all throw ourselves into moving traffic. We have to believe that life gets better. These narratives that we create are reflective of our values (hope for the future), our self-control (belief we can achieve those values), and community (group of like-minded people who affirm our values are valid). Our brain has two sides; Feeling (emotion) and Thinking (logic). We misguidedly believe that Logic is in control and Emotion tries to override it; we are impulsive, emotionally driven beings - emotion drives us to action. Logic retroactively tries to build a narrative around the emotionally driven action to rationalise it. According to Newton’s Laws of Emotion, any Loss/Gain creates a Moral Gap which our mind then tries to desperately Equalise (i.e. Revenge/Reciprocation). If someone punches you, they need to either make it up to you, or be punished themselves. If a Moral Gap is not Equalised, it instead becomes Normalised in our value hierarchy. These unresolved Moral Gaps create either inferiority or superiority complexes. If the person who punched you gets away without consequence, you mind will likely rationalise that you deserved it for being weak and pathetic. If you fail to Equalise negative Moral Gaps, you will have low self-value and grow to believe you deserve to be shit on. It is also common for us to have a natural aversion to refuse grandiose gifts, because again, there manifests a huge Moral Gap where we feel indebted and unable to Equalise. If someone buys you a house, you will feel forever in their debt and inferior to them. And the final observation: to equalise the feeling of guilt for the blessing of our life, we feel compelled to live our life in a way to make it worthwhile - because wasting it would be a sin. People typically see sacrifice as a way to repay their imagined debt. Defining what makes living "worthwhile" and what "sacrifices" we can make to equalise is where our values, self-control, and community coalesce.
The Uncomfortable Truth is that life is ultimately meaningless, so our minds must create narratives that give us hope (and subsequently purpose). Without hope and purpose, we would all throw ourselves into moving traffic. We have to believe that life gets better. These narratives that we create are reflective of our values (hope for the future), our self-control (belief we can achieve those values), and community (group of like-minded people who affirm our values are valid). Our brain has two sides; Feeling (emotion) and Thinking (logic). We misguidedly believe that Logic is in control and Emotion tries to override it; we are impulsive, emotionally driven beings - emotion drives us to action. Logic retroactively tries to build a narrative around the emotionally driven action to rationalise it. According to Newton’s Laws of Emotion, any Loss/Gain creates a Moral Gap which our mind then tries to desperately Equalise (i.e. Revenge/Reciprocation). If someone punches you, they need to either make it up to you, or be punished themselves. If a Moral Gap is not Equalised, it instead becomes Normalised in our value hierarchy. These unresolved Moral Gaps create either inferiority or superiority complexes. If the person who punched you gets away without consequence, you mind will likely rationalise that you deserved it for being weak and pathetic. If you fail to Equalise negative Moral Gaps, you will have low self-value and grow to believe you deserve to be shit on. It is also common for us to have a natural aversion to refuse grandiose gifts, because again, there manifests a huge Moral Gap where we feel indebted and unable to Equalise. If someone buys you a house, you will feel forever in their debt and inferior to them. And the final observation: to equalise the feeling of guilt for the blessing of our life, we feel compelled to live our life in a way to make it worthwhile - because wasting it would be a sin. People typically see sacrifice as a way to repay their imagined debt. Defining what makes living "worthwhile" and what "sacrifices" we can make to equalise is where our values, self-control, and community coalesce.
22/08/2023 @19:46
Horrific - hear a neighbours panicked voice alarmed by a dog in the street. Think it's my neighbour Lucy, as the voice is calling for Aaron shouting that there is a dog and they don't know what to do. My brain jumps straight to imagining Lucy holding baby Darcy whilst a dog tries to attack her, so I rush upstairs to get keys thinking I'll somehow try to shepherd them inside my house and keep the dog out. I grab the keys and can hear the commotion in the street - I pop into the front bedroom and glance down into the street to see Kally & Aaron in the street whilst a dog off it's leash is attacking Kally's dog Smoke. This other dog is mauling Smoke, ragging it around by the scruff of it's neck. Aaron is helplessly trying to get the dog off, but it's locked on and completely fixed in. Other neighbours are appearing with random objects like a walking stick, an umbrella, a metal crutch trying to separate the dogs. Lysh was traumatised, having a full on panic attack after she saw the dog mauling Smoke. Next thing, Bully's car pulls up and Tom & Bully jump out - at this point, Aaron is shouting out that Smoke is going to die if they don't get the other dog off it, as it's mauling it and biting it's head - Tom, Bully, Aaron and a few others start wailing on the dog - hitting it with the objects, kicking it in the head, body, balls, anywhere they can - they dog remains unfazed and continues mauling Smoke. It's like it doesn't feel anything. At one point the dog lets go but as Bully starts to pick up Smoke, the other dog jumps up and grabs hold again by his neck, pulling Smoke back to the ground. Mohammed says to throw water on the dogs - I think it's Lucy who rushes out with a mop bucket of water/bleach and throws it in the dog's face - the dog lets go of Smoke momentarily giving Tom and Bully time to bundle Smoke into an enclosed neighbours front garden, and hold off the other dog until it trots back off down the road. Police turn up and start assessing the situation. The owner of the dog off it's leash is called, he lives at #16, and he turns up and disappears indoors. Kally was on the phone to RSPCA trying to arrange treatment for Smoke which is eventually sorted for up Longton - Tom and Kally take Smoke in the car. A neighbour has injured his leg trying to help break them up and me & Aaron help him into a police van. Police take statements and details, then go speak with #16. An hour or so later, the police come to leave the scene; they advise a police dog expert has done an assessment and decided the dog is safe to stay at #16 with its current owner since "it's the first time it's ever done anything like that". Mental. There only needs to be "a first time" it attacks a kid and it will have been an avoidable tragedy. It made me realise something, and reinforce my concerns - if a dog attacks, there is pretty much fuck all you can do to stop it.
Horrific - hear a neighbours panicked voice alarmed by a dog in the street. Think it's my neighbour Lucy, as the voice is calling for Aaron shouting that there is a dog and they don't know what to do. My brain jumps straight to imagining Lucy holding baby Darcy whilst a dog tries to attack her, so I rush upstairs to get keys thinking I'll somehow try to shepherd them inside my house and keep the dog out. I grab the keys and can hear the commotion in the street - I pop into the front bedroom and glance down into the street to see Kally & Aaron in the street whilst a dog off it's leash is attacking Kally's dog Smoke. This other dog is mauling Smoke, ragging it around by the scruff of it's neck. Aaron is helplessly trying to get the dog off, but it's locked on and completely fixed in. Other neighbours are appearing with random objects like a walking stick, an umbrella, a metal crutch trying to separate the dogs. Lysh was traumatised, having a full on panic attack after she saw the dog mauling Smoke. Next thing, Bully's car pulls up and Tom & Bully jump out - at this point, Aaron is shouting out that Smoke is going to die if they don't get the other dog off it, as it's mauling it and biting it's head - Tom, Bully, Aaron and a few others start wailing on the dog - hitting it with the objects, kicking it in the head, body, balls, anywhere they can - they dog remains unfazed and continues mauling Smoke. It's like it doesn't feel anything. At one point the dog lets go but as Bully starts to pick up Smoke, the other dog jumps up and grabs hold again by his neck, pulling Smoke back to the ground. Mohammed says to throw water on the dogs - I think it's Lucy who rushes out with a mop bucket of water/bleach and throws it in the dog's face - the dog lets go of Smoke momentarily giving Tom and Bully time to bundle Smoke into an enclosed neighbours front garden, and hold off the other dog until it trots back off down the road. Police turn up and start assessing the situation. The owner of the dog off it's leash is called, he lives at #16, and he turns up and disappears indoors. Kally was on the phone to RSPCA trying to arrange treatment for Smoke which is eventually sorted for up Longton - Tom and Kally take Smoke in the car. A neighbour has injured his leg trying to help break them up and me & Aaron help him into a police van. Police take statements and details, then go speak with #16. An hour or so later, the police come to leave the scene; they advise a police dog expert has done an assessment and decided the dog is safe to stay at #16 with its current owner since "it's the first time it's ever done anything like that". Mental. There only needs to be "a first time" it attacks a kid and it will have been an avoidable tragedy. It made me realise something, and reinforce my concerns - if a dog attacks, there is pretty much fuck all you can do to stop it.
22/08/2023 @23:52
The end of all inclusive also means back to dealing with a kid who thinks they may actually die of starvation if they can't have a bag of crisps and two chocolate bars at almost midnight.
The end of all inclusive also means back to dealing with a kid who thinks they may actually die of starvation if they can't have a bag of crisps and two chocolate bars at almost midnight.
23/08/2023 @22:56
Lysh has been RP'ing on Gacha with Ava, so I've let her postpone her shower... aaand now she's going for a shower at this ungodly hour 😂
Lysh has been RP'ing on Gacha with Ava, so I've let her postpone her shower... aaand now she's going for a shower at this ungodly hour 😂
24/08/2023 @02:32
Lysh having a strop because I've told her it's time for bed 😐
24/08/2023 @11:35
Ava on vid call with Lysh and she starts singing: "He's bouncing off my booty cheeks" so I Google wtf the song is (Good Lookin’ by Dixon Dallas) and the lyrics continue, "I love the way he rides I can hardly breathe when he's pumping deep inside." 😐 wtf are 10-yr old kids listening to these days?!
Ava on vid call with Lysh and she starts singing: "He's bouncing off my booty cheeks" so I Google wtf the song is (Good Lookin’ by Dixon Dallas) and the lyrics continue, "I love the way he rides I can hardly breathe when he's pumping deep inside." 😐 wtf are 10-yr old kids listening to these days?!
25/08/2023 @21:46
Lysh has fell out with Ava 🤦🏼♂️ they had planned to do a performance together at next years Talent Show as Ranboo and Tubbo/Wilbur, but now Ava is worried she'll get bullied for it, so has changed her mind 🙈 so now Lysh is angry and upset about it 😐
26/08/2023 @11:27
Yesterday I received an unexpected reply to a message I sent over 3 months ago. In the message, my friend apologised for the late response - and I admit it made me feel some kind of way. I fought back my passive aggressive tendencies arising from my feelings of hurt and sent back a mature and sincere acknowledgement. Today they told me that their Mum has been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease and Dementia, and that their Grandad has also been diagnosed with Alzheimers. I guess what I'm trying to point out is that's it is not always about you, so try not to take things personally. You never know what people are dealing with.
26/08/2023 @18:03
Spending 10-mins arguing with Lysh over her taking a blanket back her Mum's was not how I envisioned spending our last bit of time together for this years summer holidays 😤
27/08/2023 @19:11
Mum messaged me saying her & Charlie are both looking forward to seeing me as it's "been ages", and I'm just here wondering why me & Lysh weren't invited to Charlies birthday meal at Brindley Farm if she wanted to see us so much? 🤔💁🏼♂️
27/08/2023 @11:38
Best nights sleep since April 2nd 😴 91 sleep score and feel fresh AF 🙌🏼 Happy Heavenly Birthday Nan 🤍 now to get ready to see Charlie for the first time in almost two months... a little voice in my head keeps suggesting how funny it would be to message my Mum and say "sorry it's short notice but I can't have Charlie today because I have a headache/feel sick/too tired/my anxiety/my agoraphobia/might have Covid" 🤭😂
27/08/2023 @13:28
Sat waiting for Charlie to arrive... half hour late & no call or anything. Ring my Mum: "has he not messaged you? He was being sick last night so he said he doesn't feel up to coming today - he was supposed to have let you know". Brilliant.
27/08/2023 @23:48
Spent all day finishing up this playthrough of FFIX 🎮
28/08/2023 @16:07
Fucking mold, man 😤 Definitely making up for yesterdays laziness, because today has been forcibly productive AF cleaning shite.
29/08/2023 @17:36
Mad productive first day back at work 🙌🏼
29/08/2023 @22:19
Looking through old photos from 2009-2010 and I can't even lie, I feel like just going off the rails in the name of alcohol fuelled, sexually reckless nostalgia 🤣
30/08/2023 @23:59
Started playing Beyond Blue not expecting much from it, and it's actually really good! 🤿 what you know about brine lakes, vent systems, and OceanX?
31/08/2023 @18:35
Walking home from work, some youth off his tits in the middle of the pavement, and about 20-metres away a middle aged woman clearly too intimidated to walk past him. As I approach, she looks at me clearly distressed; I say "do you want to walk with me?" and she replies with a sincere "yes please". I nod, "c'mon then", and I shepherd her past the guy. Afterwards, as I'm walking home alone, I question why life always seems to shit on me when I always try to be a good person? I do nice things like getting Kolawole his bank cards back, and buying Ava some Robux, and stuff like helping this lady today... and life responds by ruining my holiday with sunburn! 🙃
31/08/2023 @22:53
Playing Beyond Blue and my PC has crashed 3x now. Cannot be fucked with this. SFC, Chkdsk, & Memtest all fine. NZXT says temps are fine. Wtf. Just fuck off life, fuck sake!
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