iMuse: Tough Mudder, Yorkshire 2024: Event

"Gladiators, ready!"

Aww, shit. Here we go again. Let's go get muddy! 💩

The line-up had changed this year, reducing from a team of 6 to just a meagre 3 of us. Chris, Lea, Bailie and Stace were replaced by the formidable Steve Lovatt. In keeping with the reduction in our team size, Tough Mudder had also reduced their own scope by dropping the Obstacle count from an impressive 33 to a paltry 23. Fucking crock.

The direction of the course had been reversed compared to 2023, the Obstacle order was changed, and there were plenty of new challenges that I didn't recognise that needed to be sufficiently researched in advance.

I did not fancy walking into Hell blindly so I did what I do best: anxiety provoked planning! 😂

A nice early start following broken sleep; never good waking up early then being worried of oversleeping if you go back asleep! Up at 8am, showered and dressed. Golden Syrup Oats and a banana. Tez picked me up at 09:15 and off we head to Skipton!

[00] Warm Up

From the queue, we witnessed some guy in the preceding group absolutely gun it out the gates and tear away into the distance, much to everyone's amusement 🏃🏼‍♂️ A little hurdle into the start area for ourselves and it was time to get pumped. Like last year, some light exercises and stretches, a bit of competitive knee slapping, and then rolling Steve around the floor like laying a carpet 😂 After our warm up with Mr Motivator, the three of us set off from the start at a gentle pace, moving with the pack.

It was weird running the course in reverse, despite only being here once before and that being a year ago, it was easy to recall where the obstacles were last time, and where the track differs this time around. As we ran parallel to the creek which had been an obstacle last year, I managed to almost fall over, just managing to recover my balance before ending up headfirst into the ground! 🙈

[01] Hero Walls

Hero Walls were the first obstacle and not much trouble at that. Bit of teamwork, bit of parkour and all was rosy. This was followed by a sizeable section of running which would become a hallmark of this year; it was very apparent how different 10-miles was compared to 5km!

[02] Devils Beard

Next up was Devil's Beard which was a large cargo net draped on an uphill section of the track. Clambering under it felt like some milder variant of the human centipede with an arse in front of me, and a face behind me. It wasn't too arduous and we emerged unfazed. And we're back to running a bit.

[03] Funky Monkey

The third obstacle was one I'd been both excited and apprehensive about; Funky Monkey! Impressed myself by making it all the way across without falling into the water; Terry and Steve weren't so fortunate despite their valiant efforts! Back to the onward slog, thankfully dry! Another lengthy running section that was interrupted with a Hydration Station offering drinks and protein bars.

[04] Killa Gorilla

We noticed relatively quickly how much hillier the terrain was than we'd anticipated which increased the difficulty considerably... and was very fitting considering the next obstacle: Killa Gorilla. What a cop out this 'obstacle' was. The obstacle was literally a bit of tape stretched up and down the face of a hill into a snake-like path. The obstacle was just running up and down a hill... like we'd already been doing anyway... without it being classed as an obstacle. Nothing like the photo I've included which was what I expected from researching in advance!

[05] ~~Lumberjacked~~ Cage Crawl

Randomly the obstacle order advertised by Tough Mudder in advance differed from reality here, as after another substantial running section we turned a corner and arrived at the Cage Crawl (rather than Lumberjacked). This was an interesting obstacle where we all had to lie on our backs with our faces just peering above the water level, and crawl with the aid of chicken wire caging the length of the water course. Oh, and toward the end, you randomly get a mop hit you in the face like some sort of fucked up car wash.

[06] ~~Cage Crawl~~ Hangin' Tough

A short little loop of running later and you find yourself at Hangin' Tough which was nothing like we'd expected either. For a start, it was just suspended over dry ground; no water. And even worse, you couldn't really swing if you were taller than 6ft because your feet would touch the ground. In fact, the biggest part of the challenge getting across was keeping your knees tucked into your chest adequately whilst you did it. Tez had to move past it without even getting to really give it a go, simply because of his height. Annoying AF.

[07] ~~Hangin' Tough~~ Twinkle Toes

Twinkle Toes came next; another lacklustre obstacle compared to what was advertised. No water. No grand set design. This was just a few narrow ramps connected by a narrow wall about 4ft tall that you had to balance across. We all scuttled across it and continued forth to the next obstacle...

[08] ~~Twinkle Toes~~ Lumberjacked

Better late than never; Lumberjacked. To the booming soundtrack of Stormzy: Big For Your Boots, we tackled the chest high vaulting bars. I almost ripped my nipple off by fucking up my transition over the first one. The second went much smoother thankfully! Aaaand we're back to running!

[09] Electric Eel

Oooh, and here comes some fun and games! Obstacle #9: Electric Eel! Picture a big swimming pool full of pretty deep water, and suspended above it, rows of electric cables hanging down. The clearance between the cables and water are practically non-existent; you have to meander like fuck to navigate without getting shocked. A female ahead of us got zapped in the head and the steward barked at her to keep moving whilst she was still reeling loool! Then some bloke tried to stand up prematurely and electrocuted himself too! The three of us managed to get through it without getting shocked (fear not, that's still going to happen later!).

[10] Mud Mile

We ran up the hill and past another Hydration Station; refuelled and then we head around to a firm favourite obstacle: Mud Mile! Steve was confused as he'd thought this obstacle lasted for a full mile in distance 😂 the opening pit wasn't very wet, and I was a little concerned that we wouldn't get very muddy (which was the whole allure here)! Fear not, a couple of mounds later and we were deep in the thick of it! For shits and gigs, on the final drop, I opted to submerge myself entirely for the photo-op afterward 😂💩 then realised that getting mud out your eyes, when your entirely covered in mud is pretty much impossible 😅

[11] Mudder Wheelbarrow

As we headed up the bank toward the next obstacle, we encountered people ahead using the D-Generation-X pose to signal a medic was required. We all signalled back down the path 🙅🏼‍♂️ only to then discover the dramatic injury was... an old bird with cramp 😂 embarrassing!

[12] Hero Carry

[13] Abseil

[14] ~~Hydrophobia~~ Hold Your Wood

We turned the corner to find Stace waiting patiently for us. It'd had been 2.5hrs since we'd set off 🤯 Amateur hour continued when we discovered the obstacles were once more out of order. What should have been Hydrophobia was replaced with Hold Your Wood.