I notice lately the prevalence of drug culture in everything around me; all types of media, art, history, and life in general. It's seemingly everywhere I look, drugs are thrust into my face like the gyrating pelvis of a dancer in a strip club.
I guess it's subconscious, my own ego piquing interest where I actively must refrain. As though the devil himself is temping me, "just one final blowout" - meanwhile I'm laying in bed trying to drown out the voice with loud music thundering through headphones.
Just one final blowout. Just one last nostalgia hit. Just one more. That's the trouble; there is always just one more. The pattern of an addict seeking justification in any situation.
I had a bad day so I used to drown my sorrows. I had a good day so I used to celebrate. Weddings, funerals, birthdays, Tuesdays. It truly doesn't matter - an addict will find a reason (read: excuse) in literally anything. Boredom? Take drugs. Lonely? Take drugs. Scared? Take drugs. Excited? Take drugs. Basically, just take drugs.
The devil will not win tonight. I am too vigilant to fall for his honeyed words. Just one more day being clean. And do that forever. That's the trick.
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