Nicotine Dreams: Racing and Loss

This post is part of a series of articles that reflect on nicotine induced dreams. During 2012 whilst attempting to quit smoking, I was using patches as part of a Nicotine Replacement Therapy program. I became very aware of heightened recall of dreams I experienced whilst wearing a nicotine patch and began to document them accordingly. This is one such dream.

I was sitting on a motorbike, racing through tight confined streets closely behind my brother in a sports car which I cannot identify now. We were the only one’s there. I don’t know why we were racing, we just were? I was trying to keep up but he was handbraking and drifting around corners effortlessly, kicking up clouds of dust and dirt that obscured my vision, forcing me to slow down until I could see again.

We were darting between buildings, up alleyways, kind of like the Monaco Grand Prix. We emerged from an alleyway into a large arena floor which was marked up as a race track; there were black and white chevron direction signs, orange barricades and smoke beacons for guidance, kind of like light green flares? My brother disappeared into a corner and I pursued. 

I got lost seeking him, everywhere looked the same and I kept taking wrong turns, then having to retrace my path and try a different way. I would move into a dark area of the city I didn’t recognise which would be intimidating and suffocating, then return and try a different route.

Eventually I came around a corner and could see a bright sunny sky filtering down onto a smoke beacon. I raced past it but my brother was nowhere to been seen, and then I awoke.