Lockdown and Mental Health

Let me just preface this piece with acknowledgement that every death is a tragedy, and I am not advocating for the complete disregard of all control measures introduced over the past 12 months. That being said however, there is a big difference between existing and living. And at some point, we all must be allowed to return to living our lives.

There is something inherently primal about humanities need for social connection; this includes communication, conversation, and physical touch. We need these channels to regulate our hormones and emotions; there is a reason for the correlation between loneliness and deaths of despair. There is a reason that mental health issues largely flourish when humans are kept apart. Depression, anxiety, stress... these conditions fester when we are unable to share our problems with others, and instead are left to overthink, dwell and reinforce our opinions without having them challenged. In those times of despair, without a channel for release, people will typically turn to alcohol and recreational drugs to help them cope with the overwhelming emotion, stress and/or grief they are experiencing. I've been there. I know.

I've always been an over thinker; it's both a gift and a curse. I read between the lines. I subconsciously analyse vocabulary choice and tone in conversation. I instinctively pick up on behavioural changes and deviations from patterns. I notice insignificant things, then become obsessed with what it implies, sometimes reading deeply into coincidence as intention. Being isolated in a global lockdown magnifies this tenfold as most communication is now non-verbal where intent being lost in translation is commonplace, and conveyance of emotion for most is evasive. An innocuous message can trigger an unintended misinterpretation that results in a downward spiral of confusion, hurt and frustration. The absence of a response can trigger the same, especially in an increasingly isolated world. We all need someone else to help regulate our emotions and concerns; a pandemic doesn't change this. Nothing will. It's human nature.

Most of us are struggling with life at present in one way or another, and that is okay. It is okay to not be okay. For now, existing is acceptable; just getting through the days is an achievement. We must however, get back to living our lives as soon as possible.

Healthy coping mechanisms and processes range from discussing your worries and problems with your partner, to having a rant with your mates down the pub, or even just letting off steam and disconnecting from reality for a while away from routine. Currently most of the typical methods that people use for coping are not allowed, and those that are will be fraught with compounded stress and frustrations as we are all a big melting pot of mental health issues right now.

I actively avoid all news relating to the pandemic nowadays; I find it too emotionally draining. The statistical overload of deaths, cases, hospitalisations, vaccinations, R-numbers... all the data in the world will not change my desire to return to normal. It may sound irrational, it may be concerning, but I've overthought about it all - every last detail - and I still just want to be allowed my autonomy. I still just want to return to normal.

I want to be allowed to live again.

And that is just human nature.