An overview of opinions and observations for the month.
02/02/2021 @09:47
Happy Birthday bud! Maybe one day we can actually celebrate birthdays again, and do stuff like going on Tez's stag do together but for now, just enjoy a quiet one with your family in lockdown! Hope it's a good one! x
[with Lea Hope]
03/02/2021 @12:55
Drugs are bad mmkay.
04/02/2021 @08:33
Life is about the journey, not the
destination.
05/02/2021 @18:03
Plot twist; Trump tried to whistleblow.
Covfefe = Certificate of Vaccination for Everyone. Fake epidemic.
05/02/2021 @22:35
She isn't like this anymore! π¬π
["My little pudding just keeps growing up, and it's as endearing to
experience as it is saddening to accept <3 x"]
05/02/2021 @22:36
She's like this instead! π€£π€ͺ
06/02/2021 @10:52
Facebook on its bullshit.
"Why these women lied about being on birth control to get pregnant". I comment saying it's because they're cunts and get hit with a "hate
speech" warning π₯΄
06/02/2021 @10:53
Looking forward to them reopening restaurants
but not allowing them to sell food π₯΄
06/02/2021
[@Nigel_Farage: "Pubs with no alcohol? What is the point. Government
control has gone way too far."]
06/02/2021
[@JamesMelville: “Close the pubs”, “Open the pubs”, “Groups of six
allowed in pubs”, “10pm closing time in pubs”, “Buy booze in a pub but
only with a hot meal”, “Use a tracing app in pubs that doesn’t work”,
“Close the pubs”, “Open the pubs, but without any alcohol”.]
06/02/2021 @11:47
Lockdown has sure reinforced this opinion!
07/02/2021 @09:45
A Chinese Man Once Said
ε¦ζδ½ ηΉε»ηΏ»θ―，δ½ εζ¬’ι΄θ。
07/02/2021 @12:22
Kids problems be like I don't wanna brush my
teeth. Adult problems be like the car is rusting, there is damp in my bedroom
and I have £4.59 to my name. Oh, and I've got a bad back. π₯΄
09/02/2021 @19:34
Y'all don't even understand π₯Ίπ₯΄
[Have you ever created an amazing Excel spreadsheet, but then been
disappointed because none of your friends or family cares?]
11/02/2021 @09:54
I’m well aware what real despair and depression
can do to people. I have seen it at first hand. But as things stand it’s
getting more and more difficult to understand what the point of carrying on
is, if the only vision of the future the Government and large swathes of the
population have is of living in a country where we can’t do anything, can’t
see anyone or go anywhere, and have nothing to look forward to except living
in a police state to ‘keep us safe’.
14/02/2021 @23:22
Happy Valentines Birthday! Hope you've had a
good one my brother! Love ya! xxx
[with Christopher Downs]
16/02/2021 @13:47
My toxic trait is never fighting for
anything I want, because I never feel like I deserve it anyway.
16/02/2021 @20:03
Appreciated the company tonight fellas.
Hopefully big things coming π―π₯
[with Tim Harlott and Mike Stanier]
16/02/2021 @22:47
Always easiest to process emotion musically.
17/02/2021 @11:43
Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I
don't but apparently it was a while ago... #MyTwitterAnniversary
[12 years ago]
17/02/2021 @20:01
Matters of the mind are strange. Matters of the heart are stranger.
17/02/2021
[@DrEliDavid: "The strict lockdown in the UK was so effective that it
stopped the spread of Covid in Sweden as well πͺ"]
18/02/2021 @21:38
Takeaway, beers and a film. Been one of
those days.
[watching White Boy Rick]
19/02/2021 @12:50
π― [If someone starts ignoring me, I will just quietly move on. No long
angry messages to make them 'see my worth'. No more 'you won't find
someone like me'. I collect myself and leave.]
20/02/2021 @09:08
π€£π€£π€£
20/02/2021 @10:19
I don't even apologise. If you'd seen me a
year ago at 18st you'd understand how much this photo makes me feel infinity
proud of myself. Have I enjoyed living primarily off salad and water for the
past 12 months? Not initially, it was a chore. I was constantly hungry and
tired. Going from having 8 coffees a day with a couple sugars in each, to
having just one in the morning without sugar was hell. Did I enjoy walking 5/6
miles most days? In the rain, and snow, and when I was exhausted? Fuck no. But
looking at myself now, am I glad I stuck with it? Definitely. I feel
absolutely great, and I am finally getting to the point of being confident
about my body, rather than embarrassed and ashamed. Still some work to be
done, and I don't care if you don't care, but I've done fucking amazing and I
don't need anyone elses agreement to know it. 2021 is the year we all win. Set
yourself a goal, and stay focused ❤️πͺ
20/02/2021 @15:22
Been approached by 3 separate people to
design websites and logos in the last week aloneπ has someone been promoting
me? π
22/02/2021 @21:30
Another happy customer... well, mate rather
than customer π
π―
23/02/2021 @08:41
SNM π€«π―
23/02/2021 @17:41
Imagine that through whatever medium
(doctor, tarot, random Facebook app etc) you found out today exactly what day
you will die. If you knew the day you'd die, would you change how you live
your life? Would you do things differently? It's strange to think that a lot
of people never have that opportunity. One day they're holding grudges,
hoarding money, wishing away their lives waiting for their next holiday.
They're putting off that day trip, ignoring that DM, tolerating a job that
doesn't fulfill them. Living in a house they don't like, being too afraid to
admit their true feelings to those they care about, autopiloting their
existence. Then something happens, and their life is over. So much unfinished
business. So many missed opportunities. So much wasted potential for
happiness. They'd spent their life chasing a future that never came, instead
of embracing the life they'd been blessed with each day. Don't wait for a day
that may never come. Live today. Enjoy each moment and appreciate what a gift
it is to be alive. Because one day, it will all be over and all those future
plans will be worth nothing. ❤️ Carpe diem guys & gals π―
23/02/2021 @20:58
There's a voice that calls to me... / It tortures me. Tell's me how things ought to be... // These war games in my brain keep exhausting me... // Contorting me with some sick sort of sorcery.
24/02/2021 @14:01
It's easy some times to allow the weight of
the world to push you down into the mud. To let the pressure and stress of
life break you, and to keep it's foot on your neck. We get hurt. We get
rejected. We fail. We fuck up. We focus on our negative energy. We become sad,
angry, cynical and bitter. We let our past pain continue to hurt us in the
present. We live for yesterday, not tomorrow. We surrender living for today,
to fixating on nostalgia and heartaches. You have to forgive for your own
peace. Listen, care, be compassionate and most of all love everyone and
everything. Unconditionally. Wholly. You have to be kind to others, but most
of all to yourself. You have to be present. In the moment. Appreciate life and
show gratitude for it. This is our year. All of us. Let's win it together ❤️
24/02/2021 @18:50
A recurring theme in my own awareness is
that of purpose, or more notably, the lack thereof. Lately I find myself
becoming more consumed by nihilistic introspection; life is meaningless, a
hollow husk of infinite potential that is not being realised. If life is a
meal, then I need to find some sustenance to accompany the dessert. I feel
like I am sat staring at a blank canvas with no idea how to populate it. I
know that I want it to be filled with beauty, magnificence and purpose; I want
it to be a masterpiece - but how? The blank canvas is my life, and I
desperately need something to fill it with. Life is just so empty and
unfulfilling, and not in a depressive way - simply in the sense of feeling
directionless. This doesn't even relate to the current Lockdown; it has been
this way for quite some time. Of course holidays, day trips, social gatherings
and family events will help to quell the sense of being rudderless once they
can resume. My friends and family, notably my children, help to give my life a
modicum of purpose. But between these fleeting moments of fun and distraction,
my purpose here remains elusive. My children are growing into young adults who
are not so dependent on me anymore. My family have their own lives to keep
them preoccupied. My friends are in various stages of their own evolution's,
and our interactions are usually passionate but brief in duration. I recently
entertained the idea of a romantic relationship, but looking back now, I can
see it was just another project I was trying to use to fill the Void in my
life. A distraction, albeit an attractive one. I find broken people alluring;
I can dedicate my time and energy to feeling like I am making a difference.
It's the "fixer" mentality that I have acquired over time. I believe naively
that I can find purpose for myself, by adding value to other peoples lives. I
can distract myself with helping them to fight their battles, and in doing so,
I give myself a sense of usefulness. A purpose, however fleeting. But when it
all comes crashing down, the Void remains waiting to consume me. In my
desperation to escape the Void, I grasp tightly to fragments of memories of
the times when I was distracted, and as the broken shards inevitably make my
hands begin to bleed I reluctantly let go. I never believed that long term
relationships help to keep us away from the Void. The escapism I utilise
myself is also echoed in the actions of most people I see in relationships
too. I game to distract myself. I watch TV and listen to music. I read books.
I work out. I work on my novel, and I make music. Yet beyond these temporary,
disposable activities, I yearn for more. These circuses do not fulfill me.
They do not sate my thirst for life. I look around at everyone else,
blissfully existing, happily obsessing over their gym routines, the sports
they enjoy watching or an array of hobbies that keep them distracted from
golf, to fishing, to crafts; and I just cannot relate to it. How many people
these days spend hours just scrolling on social media, IG feeds, watching
endless Tik Toks and YouTube videos? Playing repetitive mind numbing mobile
games that add no real value to the world? It all seems so shallow. So
passive. It's not engaging enough. I used to turn to drugs and alcohol to
address the Void. I'd sedate myself into oblivion trying to evade it's
crushing weight. But as with all forms of escapism, sooner or later, you have
to return to reality. And when you do, the Void is still waiting. Wealth has
never been attractive to me; I never viewed chasing money as a worthwhile
pursuit. I have a comfortable life; I don't really want for anything. Sure, I
could buy a bigger house; but why? I don't need one. I could get a car? Never
needed one though, and don't really need one now. How about buy some new
clothes, get some tattoos, reinvent myself, buy the latest gadgets and
gizmos... it wouldn't provide the long lasting fulfillment I am seeking. I
typically spend my money excessively on my daughter and unintentionally feed
her narcissism and spoiled sense of entitlement. I live pretty frugally
myself. I aren't superficial. I aren't materialistic. I aren't interested in
keeping up with the Jones' or performing in the digital pageantry of vanity. I
aren't motivated by money or possessions. I need more. Always more. I need
something that satisfies me on an emotional level; a spiritual level even. And
this is where I am today. Sitting in front of the blank canvas once again,
unsure which medium to use, or where to begin. The Void is towering over me,
it's swirling emptiness ready to consume me, and I know that I'll either
regress to the distractions once more, or finally figure this out. Please for
my sanity, let me begin my masterpiece this time.
24/02/2021 @22:20
To those who have ever hurt me, I forgive
you. I love you all ❤️
25/02/2021 @08:58
ππ€£
25/02/2021 @09:36
They've backed down now:
"Pupils are also being asked to take four lateral flow tests during the
first two weeks of school, three of which will take place at school and one
at home. After that, they will be asked to take two tests per week at home
and report the results to their teachers. But ministers have said both these
measures are voluntary and pupils must not be kicked out of classes if they
refuse."
25/02/2021 @13:55
If I ever broke your heart, I am sincerely
sorry. If I ever made you feel worthless, I apologise. If I ever didn't
appreciate you, it was my fault. Own your actions ❤️
25/02/2021 @13:57
If anyone is still renovating, reinventing
their homes during lockdown or fixing up their gardens ready for an overdue
glorious summer, give these a look π
[with SureFit Driveways & Landscaping Ltd]
25/02/2021 @13:59
"You've been through so many nightmares,
I think you owe yourself a
dream"
❤️
25/02/2021 @19:36
Exercise. Mindfulness. Meditation. Healthy
eating. Positive energy. Be more. Evolve πͺπ―
26/02/2021 @08:16
Sunlight filtering in through the curtains,
today is good already π
26/02/2021 @09:01
π―π
26/02/2021 @13:33
"The belief in one’s own unworthiness is ubiquitous in our society. It
often comes from internalised feelings of anger, shame, or fear. The
important thing to remember about unworthiness is that it is not a state of
mind or a state of being; it is a perspective that you can change."
ππ―
26/02/2021 @22:04
We will make mistakes. We're only human.
All we can do is acknowledge them, address them, and move past them. Be kind
to yourself. Nobody is perfect. ❤️
27/02/2021 @11:59
Lately I just feel so good and at peace πͺ
Optimistic about life, and for the future. I'm burying my demons. Addressing
my issues. Being grateful for life. Positivity is power ❤️
27/02/2021 @14:28
Lovely day for a visit to the park ❤️ get
some steps in, some fresh air and some sunshine π
[with Sammie Scott and Zack Clews at Astbury Mere Country Park]
27/02/2021 @16:28
lovely afternoon out and about ❤️π too
beautiful of a day to waste! xo
27/02/2021 @22:45
"We shall not cease from exploration. And at the end of all our exploring.
Will be to arrive where we started. And know the place for the first
time."
❤️
28/02/2021 @12:45
The first step toward accomplishment is
identifying your goal. You cannot reach a destination without knowing it's
direction. π―
28/02/2021 @15:20
Out with the lad enjoying some fresh air,
exercise and sun π❤️
[at Burslem Park]
28/02/2021 @16:39
I feel the need to address something that
appears to be a popular misconception. After several concerned inboxes from
friends and family about the state of my mental health, I wanted to set the
record straight for everyone. I can see how my recent posts may
unintentionally paint a different picture than the reality, and I apologise if
it's caused undue concern for anyone. I am not in a bad place, quite the
contrary. I am at a junction in my life where I am processing a lot of trauma
and emotion as I prepare to readjust my sails and redirect my energy at my
next challenge. I am confronting parts of myself that I am unhappy with, and
negative behaviour patterns that are holding me back from realising my
potential. These are all positive steps toward self actualisation and
fulfilment. I am laying demons to rest, and refocusing myself. I am evolving.
I called it at the outset of the year. This is the year we all win if we
choose too, and I'm not competing with anyone but the man I was yesterday.
Last year I got my physical health in check. This year it's my mental healths
turn. Self improvement and growth is a rocky road, but this is a journey I
feel that I need to undertake. I love you all and I'll see you all at the
summit for celebratory drinks. Stay strong. Be happy. Show gratitude.
Appreciate life. πͺπ―❤️
28/02/2021 @19:36
Let us continue discussing men's mental
health with a real working example; myself. Here is further clarity of where
I'm at with my mental health for those of you who are interested. Some of you
will likely recognise some/all of these things about me if you know me well
enough. This is a map of my self identified negative behaviour patterns, and
how I reinforce, and succumb to additional feedback loops. The core issue
aside from my irrational health anxiety is my abandonment issues and low self
worth which are inherently linked. I have a tendency to gravitate toward my
negative traits and shame relating to my past (promiscuity/recreational drug
abuse/debt/failing people I care about etc). I downplay my own value
constantly and focus on what I don't have to offer, rather than what I do.
This is coupled with a constant feeling that I am not "enough" and as a
result, I believe that I am/always will be abandoned, overlooked or rejected.
As a result of this single deep rooted belief, a whole catalogue of negative
behaviour patterns emerge that serve to reinforce and impact my life in many
areas. This is what I am working through and why I am seeming erratic lately
with my ramblings. Be patient with me; I am trying to be a better person. ♥
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