An overview of opinions and observations for the month.
Saturday, 31 December 2016
Content Consumption 2016
Here is my mandatory review of the last year in preparation for 2017: Some good stuff happened, some bad stuff happened, and life continued regardless. Half full glass, half empty glass, either way you've got half a glass of alcohol. Raise a toast to 2017 being a good year for all of us, polish off that half glass, refill it and have a good night.
I don't do NY Resolutions as such, but next year I need to change something majorly in my life, because I have lost interest in pretty much everything besides my kids, my family and my job. As I sit here alone looking at old photos and sipping cognac, I realise that friendships that once meant the world to me have faded away and never really been replaced. I realise I have grown so used to isolation that I have no real interest in social events anymore, and no desire for a relationship or intimacy either. The longer I spend in solitude, the more I convince myself I don't need anyone else and my introversion cements further. It's unhealthy. I have sacrificed so much to avoid heartache that I am emotionally numb to almost everything. I understand it all perfectly; I can see how my choices and decisions over the past decade have orchestrated this outcome. The heavy abuse of alcohol and drugs, the subsequent changes in my social circles and loss of good friends, the road to recovery which I handled by isolating myself further, and then the introduction of Ilysha into my life and the further alienation resulting from prioritising her above all else. I have done such a good job of shielding myself from hurt, that I push people away or fail to keep them in the fold, then use it as affirmation when they fade away that I am better off alone. It doesn't even faze me these days, I just cross them off the imaginary list in my head like "there goes another one, oh well, nothing new there". As a coping mechanism I simply bury myself further in my work, or rely too heavily on Ilysha and Charlie for a sense of fulfillment and purpose. To all the friends I've grown apart from, I am sorry for neglecting our friendships; and to any females I've let close, only to then push hard away, I am sorry for not feeling secure enough to let down my guard fully. The problems really are mine; it's the person I've let myself become over the last decade. There is a beautiful strength and freedom in isolation, but also a chasm of emptiness and numbness that eats away behind closed doors.
It's been an odd year from the global highlights of Pokemon Go, Killer Clowns, Toblerone, self installing Windows 10, Samsungs exploding Note 7, the Zika virus, Brexit, Trump, McGregor, Honey G, Scarlett Moffatt, Top Gear, Syria, Westworld, Stranger Things, Negan... to that horrendous list of celebrity departures including Muhammad Ali, David Bowie, Prince, George Michael, Terry Wogan, Victoria Wood, David Gest, Ronnie Corbett, magician Paul Daniels, Father Jack off Father Ted, Maester Aemon Targaryen, Manuel off Fawlty Towers, Nana and Denise off Royle Family, Princess Leia, Willy Wonka, Severus Snape, Pete Burns, Leonard Cohen, the dude who invented Red Solo Cups, and the guy who invented Kinder Eggs... plus in my own world we had the tragic loss of Kayden which is more influential than any other name on the list... here is hoping that 2017 brings less heartbreak and headaches, and that next New Year we can reflect under more positive circumstances ♥ - all the best for 2017 everyone, friends, family and strangers alike ♥
Wednesday, 30 November 2016
Monday, 31 October 2016
Friday, 30 September 2016
Monday, 26 September 2016
Travel: Albufeira, Portugal
Wednesday, 31 August 2016
Sunday, 31 July 2016
Tuesday, 5 July 2016
White Lives Matter!
Friday, 1 July 2016
Smoke Free Regulation - Successful or Superfluous?
- the smoke free regulation is that successful it has substantially reduced the number of instances where under 18's are exposed to second hand smoke in vehicles
- whether the volume of children at risk of exposure was exaggerated to begin with
- if the regulation is being under-enforced with blind eye's being turned all over the country.
Thursday, 30 June 2016
Wednesday, 29 June 2016
Globalist Cabal
- The Rothschilds - founded The Federal Reserve.
- The Rockefellers - founded the Standard Oil Company.
- The Morgans - owners of the Largest Private Gold Vault
- The Du Ponts - biggest supplier of Gunpowder, Explosives, Plutonium and GMO Seeds
- Iraq - considered the world's fifth-largest proven oil reserves
- Afghanistan - The Caspian Sea region has potentially the world's largest oil reserves; the problem is piping it out. Afghanistan occupies a strategic position between the Caspian and the markets of the Indian subcontinent and east Asia. It's prime territory for building pipelines.
- Libya - the largest oil reserves in Africa and among the ten largest globally
- Syria - to ensure the Kirkuk-Banias oil pipeline that runs from Kirkuk in Northern Iraq, to the Syrian town of Banias, on the Mediterranean Sea between Turkey and Lebanon will be restored to profitable status. Ever since US forces inadvertently destroyed it in 2003, most of the pipeline has been shut down. Syria has at least 2.5 billion barrels of oil in its fields, making it the next largest Middle Eastern oil producer after Iraq. After ten unproductive years, the oil companies dependent on the Kirkuk-Banias pipeline’s output are eager to get the pipeline operational again. The tension over the Syrian oil situation is certainly being felt by wealthy investors in the markets, who are thus dictating US foreign policy.
Tuesday, 28 June 2016
Fuck Off John Oliver
Beside going off on a tangent slagging off UKIP with one candidate scapegoated over a comment about a Sri Lankan not being British enough to be in Parliament, a representative for a district council in Kent saying "I have problems with negros", and Kerry Smith saying "chinky" in reference to a Chinese person. This does not represent the manifesto or view of all UKIP supporters. In much the same way that Prime Minister Cameron himself (note, not a lesser representative) labelling Afghanistan and Nigeria as "fantastically corrupt" in conversation with The Queen in any way means the view is unanimous between all Tory voters.
Oliver should also be ashamed for the way he plays on the death of Jo Cox in a disgusting manner to tarnish UKIP by somehow implying association means you condone or dismiss her tragic death. This was a vile attempt at leveraging the death of a much loved MP as ammunition to distance yourself from the Leave campaign.
Let's get into the actual arguments.
1) Financial Contributions; Oliver quotes Boris Johnson saying about £350 million a week that we have no control of going to the EU. Ignoring the rebate (which I'll return to in a moment) the actual figure was £342.3 million a week in 2015 which isn't a huge misreprentation. The rebate/investments become irrelevant in the argument that we have immediate access to essentially £350 million a week outside of the EU. The rebate is not applicable until the following year depending on projections, investments and returns meaning at the point of contribution, yes, we do pay in the £342 million per week.
The EU has been in financial decline excessively since the UK joined back in 1973 becoming economically stagnant and static. Since 1980 the share of world output accounted for by the EU has almost halved from 30% to 16.5%. The financial model is fast becoming redundant in the global climate, and the benefit of remaining associated with a plummeting economic bloc binds our wrists from independent trade agreements that could be struck with faster growing economies and sentences us to a slow death alongside the rest of the member states.
2) Onerous Regulations; admittedly the 109 Pillow Regulations was a poor attempt by Brexit the Movie at illustrating and highlighting the overbearing bureaucracy of the EU. Nevertheless, there is currently 19,639 acts of EU legislation in force. (http://eur-lex.europa.eu/browse/directories/legislation.html). This is excessively overkill. There was at one point genuinely a regulation ((EC) No. 2257/94) specifically for just bananas that laid out extensive provisions such as minimum length, thickness, degree of curvature, firmness, colour etc for a banana to qualify for sale. This level of red tape and regulation creates unneccesary issues for start ups and small business' allowing multinational big business to leverage unfair competitor advantage. There are over 1,400 regulations pertaining solely to Fisheries (CFP), which have served to destroy the entire UK fishing industry. Look it up, I'm not just making it up for the sake of argument. (http://www.thecommentator.com/article/6092/the_eu_s_betrayal_of_britain_s_fishing_industry)
3) The fact that Obama, China, Japan, India, and the EU want you to stay in... and some irrelevant skit of an Austrian politician with a poem. I fail to see how "these other countries want you to stay in the EU" justifies a selling point in a political argument? Without context of reasoning, it's an moot point and completely obsolete even mentioning it.
4) HM Treasury, BoE, IMF, OECD, National Institute of Economic and Social Research, pwc, Oxford Economics, Centre For Economic Performance all "predict" a negative affect on GBP. Let me open with the argument that the financial security of the UK is a tetchy subject for a disenfranchised working class. The economic divide, the disparity of power evident in class warfare; Brexiters are not xenophobes or racists, we are simply fatigued of being at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder within a failing economy. The upper echelons grossly misjudged the extent of unrest among the working class who break their backs to afford the upper class an affluent life of luxury and excess. Had they known the degree of disdain, the Referendum would never have been on the table. I sincerely believe the economic inequality resulted in the hedging of an EU departure; not racism as so many Bremainers rush to accuse. In a population of 65 million in the UK, the poorest 10% have an average original income of £3,738... the richest 10% have an average original income of £102,366... and the 0.1% at the very top have an average original income of £941,582. (https://www.equalitytrust.org.uk/scale-economic-inequality-uk). For the working class, our concerns are simple; a breadline existence has resulted in a bleak and one dimensional perspective. We care for little, content in the knowledge we will never achieve the high ranking economic status of the elite, however we nevertheless yearn a basic standard of living in comparison to that of our peers. I appreciate (and do not take for granted) that our standard of living far supersedes that of the third world, but when compared to that of the elite, we know we are being exploited. We feel violated, belittled, taken advantage of as economic slaves, breaking our backs for scraps from the metaphorical table. The economy could be saved if the elites want it to be; but regardless of being in the EU or not, and the strength of the GBP - the lower bracket are losing either way so it's not a great concern to us.
5) Reduce immigration; when citing a poster as "nazi propaganda" you need to differentiate between migrants and refugees, something I'm not getting into here. If you want a good trade deal with EU, you need to abide by their rules, meaning it's not worth it to leave as free movement of people will persist etc. No. The UKIP and Brexit stance is not to entertain such an approach to the EU. "In April 2016 the value of exports (EU and Non-EU) increased to £25 billion, and imports (EU and Non-EU) increased to £41 billion, compared with last month. Consequently the UK is a net importer this month, with imports exceeding exports by £16.0 billion." (https://www.uktradeinfo.com/Statistics/OverseasTradeStatistics/Pages/OTS.aspx). We purchase more than we sell in a global market. We do not need the EU to be our sole buyer, and we can purchase what we get from the EU from elsewhere in the world if they are forcing free movement of people as part and parcel of the deal.
Ironically as a Brexit supporter, I note Oliver didn't even touch on TTIP in the arguments presented. The common collective knowledge of TTIP is admittedly not much, and that alone makes those aware of it very nervous and suspicious. The low hanging fruit of economic benefits does little to sway the public opinion of those on a breadline existence, notably less so in favour of reducing and watering down regulation and quality assurance such as food safety law, environmental rules and banking regulations. Reducing EU standards to match those of the US already sits unfavourably with those of us aware of the reduced standards in the States; combine this with rumours of ISDS provisions allowing US corporations being able to sue democratic Governments in private courts over loss of profits (effectively resulting in multinational and foreign corporations influencing law and policy) alongside rampant privatisation and the prospect of US corporations owning and controlling vital UK public services such as transport, education, water and health. TTIP by definition is toxic, providing a small financial contribution in order to ultimately leverage open the EU to be deconstructed and sold off to the USA.
So yeah. I eagerly await your rebuttals.
Monday, 27 June 2016
Why I Favoured Brexit
I am an educated Eurosceptic, one who is attuned to the antimedia and the necessity to peer behind the veil of mainstream biased media. I have become hyper-vigilant of the rife manipulation and coercion that dominate the political stage. In a country where the media convergence is at an all time high, oligopolists act in the interests of the corporate funders, namely the financial beneficiaries of a blatantly undemocratic bait and switch.
The entire of UK mainstream media is owned by six entities; these consist of Rupert Murdoch, Richard Desmond, Alexander Lebedev, Trinity Mirror, DMGT, and the Guardian Media Group. If you consume only mainstream media, you limit your knowledge and accept a skewed perception of the world around you. It is my firm belief that the majority of Bremainers fit the demographic of those most susceptible to the smokescreen of mainstream media; gullible, naive... able to manipulate.
Something is wrong in this world; we all feel it, and we feel unanimously powerless to correct it. The economic divide, the disparity of power evident in class warfare; Brexiters are not xenophobes or racists, we are simply fatigued of being at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder within a failing economy. The upper echelons grossly misjudged the extent of unrest among the working class who break their backs to afford the upper class an affluent life of luxury and excess. Had they known the degree of disdain, the Referendum would never have been on the table.
Admittedly, immigration likely played a part, but not for the cited reasons. Immigration exacerbates a stressed economy, whilst the rich sit in their elegant splendor, the population spirals and the public sector remains underfunded and grossly maligned with the growing demands. I sincerely believe the economic inequality resulted in the hedging of an EU departure; not racism as so many Bremainers rush to accuse. In a population of 65 million in the UK, the poorest 10% have an average original income of £3,738... the richest 10% have an average original income of £102,366... and the 0.1% at the very top have an average original income of £941,582. (https://www.equalitytrust.org.uk/scale-economic-inequality-uk)
For the working class, our concerns are simple; a breadline existence has resulted in a bleak and one dimensional perspective. We care for little, content in the knowledge we will never achieve the high ranking economic status of the elite, however we nevertheless yearn a basic standard of living in comparison to that of our peers. I appreciate (and do not take for granted) that our standard of living far supersedes that of the third world, but when compared to that of the elite, we know we are being exploited. We feel violated, belittled, taken advantage of as economic slaves, breaking our backs for scraps from the metaphorical table.
Education, and I refer to actual applicable education, not curriculum that is irrelevant in the real world of employment, should not be an unaffordable luxury. It should not require a lifetime of unrepayable debt to acquire a decent education in a first world country; the tuition fees demanded for a degree have tripled recently, indicating a blatant disregard for the necessity of a valuable education. An influx of "skilled and educated immigrants" further compounds the issue of employment when it is not feasible for the working class to get an education when the establishment knowingly hold them back. Even schools have felt the burden with children unable to acquire places in their favoured option resulting in failing institutions nationwide which are then downgraded to academies, publicly funded independent substitutes exempt from the national curriculum leading to inconsistent and unbalanced education.
Housing, and the availability of suitable accommodation. The cost of housing and the increasing population of the country go hand in hand. Supply and demand is basic principle; if housing does not increase in direct proportion to population expansion, what few houses are available become unaffordable for the majority. It becomes a cut-throat, dog eat dog battle to acquire suitable housing. It is also common public interpretation that immigrants are favoured where accomodation is available. Again, xenophobia can be blamed, but the root of the problem lies with the absence of expansion of the housing sector by the upper tier writing the cheques.
Healthcare and the NHS, the obvious bone of contention in the debate. I'll skip the he-say-she-say regarding a £350 million per week cash injection following Brexit and instead focus on the crux of the issue. It is no secret that the NHS has been falling to pieces with cost reduction targets that directly impact the level of care received by those most dependent on it. Extrapolated data from 35 NHS service providers forecast a £2.3 billion deficit in the fund by the close of the year. An underfunded and overworked healthcare system is further compounded by the increasing population; basic logic, the more people you need to provide for, the more funding you need to maintain a median level of service. Desperate measures such as privatisation have further harmed the public perception of the crisis.
Business and retaining our own corporate infrastructure. It is no secret that the EU funds the relocation of UK business' to the continent (Cadbury, Ford Transit, Jaguar Land Rover, Peugeot, Dyson, Marks and Spencer, Hornby, Gilette, Indesit, Boots, Mini to list a few). The result of this asset stripping is removal of employment opportunities to other countries, and the removal of economic contributions to the UK. Scottish Power is owned by Iberdrola, a Spanish company. Our fishing industry is now non-existent due to the EU, and even farmers are being paid to not produce food. The EU is not good for our business'.
Employment and a stable economy naturally deserve a voice in the debate, however for a disenfranchised working class who feel so dismissed and undervalued, with less job prospects and a minimal amount of money in their pockets, this is not a great concern. When you work a full time job and still struggle to cover your household bills, never mind enjoy a little luxury as compensation, it becomes difficult to generate fear around the prospect of economic uncertainty. Economic concerns only affect those with actual tangible assets and money, and the majority of Brexiters do not fit that demographic profile.
Beyond the above arguments, for those Brexiters actually aware of politics, it is abundantly clear that the EU is an undemocratic, expensive and failing political system. With reform clearly off the table, as Juncker chastised "the British policy makers and British voters have to know that there will not be any kind of renegotiation [...] we have concluded a deal with the Prime Minister, he got the maximum he could receive, we gave the maximum we could give" it became abundantly clear that it was make or break for the UK.
There is nothing democratic about a system where our total representation is around 9% of a board who are outvoted more than half the time on legislation that directly affects our everyday life. In Britain it is parties and Governments that make decisions and propose laws, whereas in the EU the only people who can propose laws are the unelected. We have no control over an institution which just obliges an elected Government to pass various regulations telling us how we should lead our lives.
The EU has been in financial decline excessively since the UK joined back in 1973 becoming economically stagnant and static. Since 1980 the share of world output accounted for by the EU has almost halved from 30% to 16.5%. The financial model is fast becoming redundant in the global climate, and the benefit of remaining associated with a plummeting economic bloc binds our wrists from independent trade agreements that could be struck with faster growing economies and sentences us to a slow death alongside the rest of the member states.
And finally, the impending doom of TTIP added icing to an already volatile cake. The common collective knowledge of TTIP is admittedly not much, and that alone makes those aware of it very nervous and suspicious. The low hanging fruit of economic benefits does little to sway the public opinion of those on a breadline existence, notably less so in favour of reducing and watering down regulation and quality assurance such as food safety law, environmental rules and banking regulations. Reducing EU standards to match those of the US already sits unfavourably with those of us aware of the reduced standards in the States; combine this with rumours of ISDS provisions allowing US corporations being able to sue democratic Governments in private courts over loss of profits (effectively resulting in multinational and foreign corporations influencing law and policy) alongside rampant privatisation and the prospect of US corporations owning and controlling vital UK public services such as transport, education, water and health. TTIP by definition is toxic, providing a small financial contribution in order to ultimately leverage open the EU to be deconstructed and sold off to the USA.
Perhaps for some the Brexit vote was a middle finger to the establishment, a chance to rebel for a cause, for others it may have been fuelled by racism and xenophobia, but for others the underlying message is that we are tired of being taken for granted in an undemocratic, economically faltering union that serves to keep the working class suppressed whilst the elite further prosper. It is however also my belief that we live in a country where they would not allow us to leave the EU if it meant the entire national economy would totally collapse, your money would become worthless, or your living conditions would deteriorate to the point of poverty. We are a resilient country and in preparation of the Referendum there would have been sufficient measures introduced for the Brexit outcome to ensure the continued forward movement of the country. There will be volatility, but any prolonged negative financial impact would force me to question whether it's not the elite artificially manipulating it to punish the UK for daring to challenge it's authoritarian reign.
I stand by my decision to vote for Brexit, and I'm sure the majority of the 17.4 million who originally agreed with me remain firmly in my corner. Opposition strengthens our resolve.
Viva Britannia, may we prosper.
Tuesday, 31 May 2016
Monday, 16 May 2016
Travel: Krakow, Poland
- Tez had glass in his sausage.
- Moz punched a door because his wife Alice left him before the engagement.
- Moz broke the wheel off his bed
- Moz sounded like an industrial ventilation system when he slept
- Ben slept in the hotel corridor
- Tez got a taxi from a petrol station
- Moz laughed about Blackadder at the Auschwitz death wall
- Moz wore a skeleton t-shirt to Auschwitz
- Ben walked 10k more steps than everyone else everyday
- Moz wanted to just drink beer with free WiFi everyday
- We had to walk 3km to the exit of the Salt Mine
- We walked all the way to the Dragon Den exit by mistake trying to find the entrance
- Tez went asleep at 9pm on the first night there
- Ben gave an insanely spicy kebab to a tramp who likely shit themselves the next day
- We massively misjudged the distance from the hotel to the city centre
- We had to sprint to the train station to not miss our Salt Mine booking
- Ben got told off for taking photos in the Auschwitz prison cells
- Tez was the last person to board the return flight back
Thursday, 12 May 2016
Who You Gonna Call? Not GHOSTBROKERS!
For most everyday run of the mill motorists, Ghostbroking will be a term you are unfamiliar with, though lately it has been rearing it's ugly head more publicy. In a nutshell, Ghostbroking is insurance fraud. A "Ghostbroker" will often arrange unbelievably cheap insurance policies for their clients, however the policy is quoted incorrectly and not worth the paper it is written on in the event of a claim.
The latest prosecution relating to Ghostbroking is that of Maur Dumitru, a 38 year old Romanian national residing in Manchester. Dumitru had acted illegally as an unlicensed insurance broker, arranging cheap policies for over 150 other drivers by intentionally lying on their Aviva insurance applications and taking advantage of cheaper area ratings whereby rural areas are cheaper than urban areas due to the reduced risk of a collision or theft.
Despite the insurance policies Dumitru arranged being invalid and void due to the fraud aspect, he still raked in around £200,000 with his bank accounts clearly indicating he had received arrangement fees from his "clients". After initially being remanded on May 5th 2015 and due for sentencing on July 3rd 2015, instead Dumitru evaded justice and he disappeared on the run. The IFED (Insurance Fraud Enforcement Department) finally relocated Dumitru in Manchester where he was arrested on April 27th 2016, and has since received a 20 months custodial jail sentence for fraud by false representation and obstruction of justice by failing to appear for his original court hearing.
Ghostbroking affects the industry and all motorists, regardless of how honest they are. Insurance companies lose revenue due to the deception of fraud, meaning they must recuperate their losses by marginally increasing premiums across the board. Furthermore, in the event a law-abiding road user is involved in a collision with an uninsured driver (such as those sold policies by a ghostbroker), the ensuing claims process will likely be lengthy and problematic trying to ascertain accountability and liability to pay for damages.
Saturday, 30 April 2016
Wednesday, 27 April 2016
Why We Celebrate May Day
- In Oxford, revellers gather below the Great Tower of Magdalen College at 6am to listen to the college choir and jump from the Magdalen Bridge into the River Cherwell.
- Padstow in Cornwall celebrate it's Obby-Oss day of festivities, believed to be one of the oldest fertility rites in the UK with thousands in attendance.
- Other Cornwall cities celebrate the Flower Boat Ritual where a model ship of the Black Prince is covered in flowers and carried from the Quay at Millbrook to the Cawsand beach.
- For over three decades, thousands of motorbikes take part in the May Day Run, a 55 mile trip from London to Hastings.
- Even Edinburgh organises it's Beltane Fire Festival on Calton Hill on the evening of May Eve and into the early hours of May Day.
Thursday, 31 March 2016
Tuesday, 29 March 2016
Crash Claims Checklist
- In 2014 the UK motor insurance market made a £31,000,000 underwriting loss.
- The UK motor insurance market hasn't made an underwriting profit since 1994.
- In 2015 £1,300,000,000 was detected in fraudulent claims.
- In 2015 £14,560,000,000 was paid out for motor and property claims.
- In 2015 £370,000,000 was paid out for travel insurance claims.
- In 2014 £12,000,000,000 was paid to the UK Government in taxes.
- The average bodily injury claim is over £10,000.
- Collect the other drivers details including their full name, address, telephone number, vehicle details such as registration, make and model, and also their insurance details such as company and policy number.
- Take photographic evidence to assist the insurance company with proving who was at fault. Ensure the photos display vehicle positioning (over white lines, in the wrong lane, mounted kerbs); the damage to the vehicles (bumpers, lights, windows, body panels); any property damage in the area (walls, fences, bollards); the area of the collision (hills, blind corners, roundabouts); the weather (fog/glare/flooding).
- Record witness details where possible of anybody present who can validate your side of the story. Ensure you record the total number of passengers in both vehicles (to prevent exaggerated personal injury claims), and ask if anybody is injured. If any passenger claims to be injured, call the police to attend the scene. Collect names, addresses and telephone numbers of passengers, and record the details of any emergency services who attend the scene of the incident.
- Offer the other driver your insurance details. If you have an accident card supplied from your insurer the provide this for their reference, otherwise advise the third party of your insurer name, policy number and contact number.
- Report the claim yourself. Always ensure you report the claim in a timely manner, as some insurers may demand an increased excess if the claim is not reported within a short window (often 24hrs). Provide the insurance claims company with the vehicle details, registration and your policy number.
Saturday, 26 March 2016
Apologies, a CIS.
I appreciate that people who identify as transgender are often socially ostracised or harassed with invasive and overly personal questions when it comes to their choices, preferences and physical attributes. I wish to extend a branch, and apologise for every time the naive ignorance of a CIS has offended. I find CIS are always at a disadvantage now where these types of dialogue are concerned, similarly to discussions on feminism; the whole: if you aren't "one of us" then you're "one of them" philosophy and mentality.
Speaking personally, I find trans a very intriguing demographic; primarily since it's still largely in it's infancy in terms of social acceptance and awareness. CIS do not intend to overreach with their questions or their seemingly invasive "prying"; they are just bewildered by a concept that is alien to them. It's never the intention to make trans uncomfortable, or to invade their personal space. It's simply because the whole notion of transness seems so unrelatable. CIS seek a point of reference, a definitive common element of what motivates transition. And this is usually the part where CIS overstep and offend.
I see similarities in how religions are questioned, and how race and culture are challenged, how back when it was still deemed "taboo", homosexuality was dissected by the masses. It's not a wish to humiliate, belittle or offend anybody. It really is just people digging beneath the surface in a bid to better understand something that is new to them. Something that defies the social norms and convention they've been spoonfed their entire life.
CIS do not want to be the enemy; the connotations of being "CIS" already carry an ugly association with ignorance. CIS and the LGBT community need to stop differentiating and begin to transition into identifying as one and the same. As long as there are explicit divisions in terminology and demographics, with invisible lines drawn between us, then we will never be able to coexist in harmony and happiness.
Tuesday, 22 March 2016
I Am Me
I am a little bit of emptiness, a fragment of incompleteness.
A patchwork life of experiences, of memories and regrets.
I am the one who has created magic, and also orchestrated tragedy.
I am the shadows, the darkness that smothers and consumes everything it touches, tainting it and leaving it broken and hollow.
I am also the cleansing fire that ignites like gunpowder, inspiring and enchanting, teasing out the deepest beauty in those around me.
I am equilibrium, balance, harmony; the chaos and the order.
The perfect imperfection.
I am the one that has hated my reflection to the extent that I've held a razor blade against the delicate fragile skin of my wrist, and pushed it down just enough to feel the adrenaline flood my system and know how simply it could be over.
How easily I could escape.
But I am also the very same one who set that razor down, who looked at that hateful face staring back, the one with the burning look of disgust, and vowed to be better.
To overcome it.
To not give up on me.
I am the Rubik's cube; the 6 conflicting sides, colours blurred together in a rainbow of confusion.
Hate and love, elation and sorrow, pride and regret.
I am the ideal recipe for self destruction and resurrection.
The phoenix that rises from the ashes of it's own demise.
I am the sunshine that illuminates the shade, yet the rain that drowns the happiness.
I'm the high achieving academic success.
The one with the determination and perseverance.
I am the survivor; the one who refuses to concede defeat.
I am the one who got his degree, who finished University; the one who secured a stable job he enjoys.
I am the high functioning addict that let cocaine financially ruin him through ignorance and arrogance.
I am also the guy that battled through recovery and abstinence, and sacrificed his social circle to not relapse.
I am the one who repeatedly has his heart broken, and yet still yearns deep down for love, who won't turn his back on the potential for a taste of honest romance.
I am the emotionally fractured one that takes risks for those moments of connection and contentedness, however fleeting.
I am the one who yearns solitude, then detests being alone.
I am the father who fought for his child, who was willing to move mountains to be reunited with her, refusing to allow any obstacle to restrain him.
I am control.
I am the constant.
I am the one who shapes the world around me.
I am the virus and also the vaccine.
The problem and the solution.
I am the one holding the pen that defines the chapters of my biography; the storyteller, the destiny deciding, omnipotent presence.
I am the artist, drawing those playful strokes across the canvas of my life, creating a masterpiece of magnificent insignificance.
I am the haunting soliloquy that you hate to relate too.
I am evolution.
I am whole.
I am who I am meant to be at this very moment in time.
I am me, and I am okay with that.